Addiction=YOU

Addiction.

Your mine.

Tried to stop.

Tried rehab by getting away from you.


I just seem to want to get hooked on you again.

I shouldnt do this but your pull is like that of the moon on the tides.

You are like nectar and I am the bee.

I am addicted to you.

You give me such a rush

Yet you also make me get so down and depressed.

I oscilate between joy and pain because you bring me up,

Then send me crashing down.


What can I do to stop this addiction,

Because i cant go on like this my love?

Amazing Grace

It's this feeling inside me,

I want to burst into song.

It's because of your love, it lifted me.

I was down, suffering a broken heart.

You gave me back my smile.

Even though some days my heart is black as night I still see your light



So lets dance because you are good.

Let's raise a glass to celebrate that your in my life.

Let's clap because you bring me joy.

There's a feeling in my heart that makes me want to shout out loud,

Scream and shout.



Am in love, in love with you.

I never wanna let go of this feeling

Because it brings me up when am down.

So lets dance a jig, break the bones doing the twist.

Lets hum a melody.

Lets beat the drums and strum the guitar.

Lets shake our heads as we listen to the music

And tap our feet do a few footworks.



Your love is grace,

Your love was shame for me,

Letting yourself be hung on a tree for me.

I dance and sing for your love has set me free.

I sing for grace, amazing grace that brought me to my knees.

A grace that fills my heart and makes me want to burst out in song.


raylitpoems 2010

Our first time

I,
See youu across the room,
And those sexy full lips
As they bite
A piece of mango.
The way you do it so sensual.
The look of enjoyment,
It causes a reaction inside me.
Wouldn't I like to be,
Tasted like that?
Enjoyed!!
The taste of me,
Exploding in your mouth.
To see that smile,
Satisfaction,
Quenching of thirst,
Make you feel,
Refreshed.

You’re looking my way,
Oops!!!
Caught staring.
Embarrassed,
Blushing.
You flash that knowing smile
Like you can read my mind
And you know what I want.
Your eyes twinkle in a mysterious way
And you wink.
Need to move,
Coz I don’t know what to say or do.

Outside,
Cold air cools me down
Needed it,
Temperature gone too high.
What was I thinking in there?
Daydreaming, fantasizing?
You and me,
Get a grip my mind says.
Suddenly, I feel arms around me
Encircling me,
Am about to protest.
Then I smell that cologne,
One that always drives me crazy,
The smell of you plus perfumed scent
You whisper,
“Relax.”
Nibble on my ear,
Hot, heat runs down,
It feels so good.
Turned,
You lean down,
I watch fascinated,
As your full lips come down towards mine.
I must be dreaming,
Close eyes to check,
Then I feel your lips of mine.
Gentle,
Butterfly,
You tease,
Brush against my lips,
Your tongue,
Asking permission,
Begging entrance.
Open up,
Feel full sensation,
As lips to lips touch
Your tongue darting in,
To find mine.
Dance,
An erotic dance,
Then deeper and deeper it goes,
Oh the pleasure!
I feel like am in heaven,
Lightheaded,
Is it ecstasy?
Because I don’t want to let go
This feeling.
This kiss,
This magical pleasure,
Of our first time,
Our first kiss!


raylitpoems 2010.

Africa

I wrote this when I was in UK. I hated writing in Swahili, still do but I missed home so much i translated it. I have murdered Kiswahili so please forgive me am a barbie like that.

My love, I mourn for you

I said goodbye to everyone.
I did not look at you
I smiled,
A fake smile
That said that I would be ok.
I walked away from you, my love.
Oh, What a foolish thing to do!
I needed distance,
I had told myself.
Time to get to know other people, new things.
It seemed that what used to make me happy
About you no longer held any appeal
I needed to get away
To experience things anew somewhere else.

Then why is it that I think of you all the time.
I remember your warmth like a radiating sunset
The taste of you on my tongue
The smell of you,
A hearty cologne of spice, sunshine and tropical fruit
Your rhythm that was the beat of the African drum
Our special language that we shared
I long now
to speak it back to you

I wanted to be free of you
Only looking back at you once or twice as I left
To memorize your features and replay them later in my mind
Now I need to see you
My body and heart long for you
My passion for you is unquenchable
Your like a drug that runs through my brain
I need more to get through the day.

I run away to discover myself
But realised I am nothing without you
You make me whole
I dance to the beat of your drum
I want to be with you my love
Will you please take me back

I am anxious to see you again
Forgive me for leaving
Please let me come back
Oh when can I return
My heart of hearts
Africa, my love.

NINALIA

Nilisema kwaheri kwa wote
Sikukuangalia
Nilicheka
Kicheko kisio cha ukweli
Iliosema nitakuwa sawa sawa
Basi nikatembea tutoka kwako mpenzi
Lo! Kitu cha upumbavu nilichofanya!
Nilitaka nafasi
Nilijiambia
Masaa za kujua watu wengine, vitu zingine
Kwajili vitu vilivyo nifanya
Niwe na furaha juu yako havikia vikinifurahishi tena
Nilihitaji kuenda mbali na wewe
Kufanya vitu zingine mpya.

Mbona je basi
nakuwaza masaa zote
Nakumbuka joto yako ilofanya damu yangu iwe na moto
Utamu wako kwa ulimi yangu
Harufa yako.
Kama marashi -Ulionuka karufuu, jua na matunda
Pigo la moyo ulio kama pigo ya ngoma ya Africa
Lugha yetu tulioengea pamoja
Nawaza, nataka kuongea na we sasa

Nilitaka uhuru kutoka kwako
Nilikuangalia mara moja ama mbili nilipokua nikienda
Ndio nijifahamishe na wewe ngio nikumbuke baadaya kichwani
Sasa nataka kukuona
Mwili na mwoyo yangu yanakutaka
Upendo yangu kwako haishi
Wewe ni kama madawa ya kulevia
Kichwani
Nahitajii ingine ndio nieshi

Nilikimbia kotoka kwako ndio nigipate
Lakini nimeelewa kuwa mimi si kitu bila wewe
Unanifanya niwe nzima
Nacheza kwa mupigo ya ngoma yako
Nataka kuwa na we, mpenzi
Nichukue tena kwako
Ninataka sana kukuona tena
Nisemehe kwajili nilikuacha
Tafhathali niache nirudi
Lo! Naweza kurudi kwako lini
Mwoyo wa mwoyo wangu
Afrika, mpenzi.

Raylitpoems 2003

mood swing

It began like the sun at dawn
Filling the dull black skies with specks of lights
So was my mood as I awoke
Filled with anticipation for the coming day
Knowing the world was my oyster
And that I would shine all through the day
I felt so alive so me
Then during the course of the day
I noticed clouds gathering together
In my brain, cutting out the rays of sunlight
However, I paid them no mind
Gradually the sky grew grey
And my mood pensive
The clouds had gathered together, all bunched up
And were looking dark and threatening
By this time, I was alarmed
And started looking for shelter from the coming storm
Suddenly the skies of my eyes
Gave way and teardrops of rain fell
Soon faster, faster, and harder they ran
Drenching the surroundings of my person
No shelter in sight could I see
Looking far and wide in myself
Wondering whether the outburst would last
And how long it would last
Then when I was just about to despair
I saw in my mind’s eye
A beautiful technicoloured rainbow
And I knew then that things would get better
A few moments, it seemed like forever!
The teardrop stopped
And the sky of my eyes
Were clear and bright once more
And then I saw the sun appear
My heart had brightened
A dimple appeared on the horizon of my skin
And suddenly bright rays of light appeared
As I smiled and laughed
I was drenched but refreshed
The storm was over.

Breaking heart

You tie me up in knots even though we are no longer together.

You got a hook inside my heart that drawns me to you

And that cuts me when I try to pull away.



This love should be over,

But just because I wish it,

It doesnt make it so!

I broke your heart so I should be free

But I broke mine too maybe thats why am haunted.

My heart screams loudly for you,

Even though I try to drown it in loud protests that i dont need you

I can still hear my heart scream.



You were my first real love,

Leave alone the jokers who came before you,

They were pretenders to the throne but you,

You were the real King and you made me your Queen.

But still paradise had a serpent.

Distance, the serpent

drew us slowly apart and banished us from our Eden of love.

Banished our love became but I still think of Eden and our wonderful love.



Well we cant go back yet we cant move forward.

So at at impasse I miss you!

Wishing that this love hadnt, isnt and wont continue to break my heart!


Raylitpoems 2010

Celebrate

I wrote this for my Cucu - Peris Njuguna who was buried on tuesday 12/10/10. She was a blessing to me and I will always remember her with love and fond memories.I read this at her funeral and wept. It was what I figured her words would be to us who were left to mourn her. I think she would have told us to celebrate her life.

I know you want to weep that I am gone but I want you to celebrate. Celebrate my life, I am not gone, I live inside you, in the memories of the times we spent together. Take a snapshot of the times we shared and keep it close to you.

When you feel a tear start to drop remember:

The days when we used to play in the shamba with no shoes as we helped our mother.

Remember the days when we used to go to the river to get water.

Remember how I used to love pineapple and we had to walk from Kiamoria to Kiganjo just to get some pineapple.

Remember with joy my wedding where it rained as God blessed our wedding. Thank God for a loving husband who even as he took me from my wonderful Gachango family took me to another family the Njuguna’s who loved me and opened their hearts to me.

Remember the joy I had when I had my children and what a blessing they were to me.

Celebrate the fact that I received Jesus into my heart and he turned my life around. He has given me so much joy and so much to celebrate.

Celebrate the fact that I got another daughter to call me mum. Celebrate the fact that I was a grandmother to a beautiful child Emmanuel.

Celebrate the fact that life is a treasure given to every one of us. Only God knows how long he will bless us with that treasure. But we shall be accountable to him for it. And I know that when I stand before his throne, he shall say “well done good and faithful servant.”

Celebrate that we laughed and cried together. Celebrate that we had all those meals together and the songs we sang. And how I loved to sing.

I celebrate that I was loved and cherished. I know I was treasured and I will be missed. But this is not goodbye. This is I will see you later.

Psalms 23

For I knew that the Lord my shepherd, I did not want. He make me lie down in green pastures: he led me beside the still waters. He restored my soul, and he led me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Through I walked through the valley of the shadow of death; I feared no evil, for he was with me. His rod and staff, they comforted me.

Lord you prepared a table before me in the presence of my enemies: and you anointed my head with oil, my cup runneth over. And I know that goodness and mercy followed me all the days of my life until when I went to dwell in the house of the lord forever.

So let’s celebrate my life and give praise to God for a life well lived.

regrets

I wish:

I had come to see you in hospital and we had sat and talked. But I was too busy with my life with school and work I said tomorrow I will. Now your no more and I have time to attend your funeral but I don't have you. Those are my regrets.

I had told you how much I loved you and what I needed from you. But I didnt want to rock the boat of our relationship so I kept quiet every time you broke my heart. Then one day the gathered storm in my heart broke loose and I told you its over. Yet my heart still breaks over you and I still love you. Those are my regrets.

I had studied hard in high school not buried my head in mills and boons. I should paid more attention to maths and not decide that I cant do this. Dubing other clever students homework but failing CAT's and exams. Doing well in tuition because it was during holidays and I had to pass otherwise no tv.These are my regrets.

I have many wishes and many regrets. Many shoulda woulda coulda. Things I could have done and said. I wish I could turn things around but I cant because time is a cruel mistress. I wish but wishes as they say "if wishes were horses beggars would ride them".


So though I wish I had done things differently what's done is done. So now am left with my regrets, a bitter pill to swallow.

Breasts make the world go round (Betty and Veronica)

This piece is to raise awareness for breast cancer awareness month. Betty and Veronica refers to breasts. People have different names for them, the twins, jewels etc.


Hurray. Lets hear it for the girls Betty and Veronica. They make the boys go dumb and put a smile on a baby's face.


Breasts fascinate, captivate and they are sexy. Some people would die to have them and some people pay to give them an extra extra boost. The gals have supernatural power because they seem to occupy many a man's fantasies and thoughts. Yet they cause many a girl's grief and stress when they are too small or too large.


Big, small, round, sharp and pointed, bouncy or struggling to bud breasts cause debate and drama.betty and veronica are a source of power and food yet they are so vulnerable to disease.


Gals your breasts are an asset so take care of them. Get checked out to ensure they dont become a bad debt that must be removed. Guys we know you love Betty and Veronica so please encourage your lady to get checked. You could even help her,be her doctor for the night if she wont take flight or mind.


A breast check a month keeps the doctor away. So gals strut Betty and Veronica but always know their status it may save your life.

Just friends

Just friends.

Are we lying, that we can just be friends?

Because there's this chemistry between you and me that could light up a room.

Your laugh is intoxicating to me.

Your smile well its like a drumstick on my heart.

It makes it beat so fast.

The way you look at me,

the love you feel shines through your eyes.

We have all the best intentions, noble but furtile.

Its like trying to swim against the tide at high noon.

Was it a mistake to say goodbye

or would it be a bigger one to say I still love you?

Just friends cannot encompass what we were and are.

So who's fooling who when we say we can be just friends?


raylitpoems 2010