Is this love

Am sitting here thinking
What is it about you?
That makes me think I love you

There’s something about your smile
That makes my heart do cartwheels.
Something about your voice,
That appeals to my subconscious level,
Making it want to hear whatever you want to say
Makes me want to listen to you all day long.
Your body oh baby if it ain't perfection
Maybe they need to change the standards.
Your body turns me on,
Your face is so cute,
And when you smile at me,
I think am going to faint
Because it seems so perfect to me,
Is this love?
Is this the real deal?
Wanting someone so much despite their imperfections,
Wishing to hear their voice or see them,
Wanting them close by,
Just to feel secure.
Having butterflies in your stomach
When you’re supposed to meet the person.
Having this pain in your chest area
When you hear that they are hurt.
Is this love?
When you see the person,
Feeling at peace,
All is well with the world
Is this love?

written a long time ago when I was very naive and in love. 28TH APRIL 2002

STRUGGLE AT 24

My life is a struggle
To find peace within
My body calls for love
Spirit for belief in the almighty
Womb for your baby
Mind for enlightenment
Body for food, warmth, shelter
Arms of yours to hold me tender
I get no rest
From this noises in me
I want rest, harmony
But that which I desire at 24
Is what I cannot have?

Written when I was 24 (year undisclosed)

The taste of you!

The taste of you on my tongue makes it tingle,
My brain explodes in pleasure.
I dream about you many times
And when I see you I am left salivating.
You know how to touch that g-spot,
Leave me yearning for more.
You’re smooth, dark and so sweet.
You give me a high that nothing else can give me.
Your addictive I cant get enough of you.
I get so envious when I see you with other girls,
Wondering if you make them feel the way you make me feel,
Excited and high.
I would love to have an exclusive relationship
But you love to give many pleasure, not just one.
So I resign myself to that deep, sensual pleasure,
That I get when am with you,
When I taste you and you melt on my tongue.
We have a passionate love affair.
I love you, my dear chocolate!

A tribute to a mother (my mum) for her birthday today

You are my heartbeat,
From the time I was in your womb
And you sheltered me from the world.
You were my world, my support system.
You loved me even before you knew me,
And your love was strong and protective.
From the minute I was born you clothed me with your love
And I was clothed in radiance and beauty.
Your love is a beautiful thing,
It’s like a diamond but more flawless,
Sparkling so much that everyone can see it.
From the day I arrived into this world you were my angel, my guardian, my savior.
You have gone above and beyond for me,
Given your all to help me grow,
Achieve my dreams and stand tall.
Your belief in me has shaped my belief in me,
Taught me to not give up on myself,
In believing that I shall and must make it.
You play such a great role in my life.
You were my teacher, my trainer, my friend,
My banker, my role model and my life coach before anyone else.
You encouraged me to reach for the stars and walked with me,
For when I couldn’t walk you held me
And started my journey for me.
When I could only crawl you encouraged me to keep moving.
When I could walk and fall you held my hand that I may lean on your strength and help.
Now that I can walk alone I hold your hand so that we may walk together,
That I may show you how the seeds of hope you sowed in me have bloomed,
And turned into a beautiful growing garden.
I am like a plant,
You were the sun and rain that gave me power to grow.
As a maturing tree I lie in the shade of your shadow,
And I marvel at how you have helped me grow.
You and God are the foundation of me,
The rock that has helped me not sink but to stand tall.
I can’t ever say thanks enough or tell you how much I love you,
For the love I have for you can’t be qualified or quantified,
It’s just is as constant as the sun.
You, mum are just more precious and priceless,
Then anything the richest man could buy.
I am rich because I have you,
I am blessed because I have you as my Mum
And I am honored because God chose the perfect mum for me.
Have a great Birthday.
Remember you are greatly loved, appreciated and valued.

Love Wangari

Picture perfect

The sun when it's setting and those beautiful hues of yellow, red and orange that take your breath away. The smile on a mother's face when she holds her child for the first time. When a child smiles when they take their first step without falling. The graduation picture of a graduant standing with their family and the smiles and tears that come forth. The faces of worshippers when they are singing a song of praise and the praise comes from the heart. A wedding couple when they are declared married and have their first kiss. A child getting their first taste of chocolate/icecream. When your team wins a game and the fans cheer and hug. When your loved one is in surgery and the doctor comes out and tells you they are ok. When a loved one flies back from another country after many years and you see them in the flesh and you hug them. When a child tells you for the first time I love you, hugs you and emotion overwhelms you. The moment the phone rings and the good news is you got your first job. Seeing that old married couple seated together holding hands and the love they have is reflected in their smiles. Those moments that are recorded mind snapshots in a perfect moment in time. When a smile, an emotion and a situation made your day and put that feeling of happiness in your heart. Beautiful moments. Picture perfect.

Exhale

Sometimes days go by without thoughts of you and I exhale. Keeping busy so as not to face myself and loss, I bury my emotions. It hurts, thinking of you, I and love. The depth and height of the love I felt for you only God understands. First, in thinking of you after, I was hurt and angry. The weight of wasted years and wasted love squeezed my heart in agony. Now I am like a stranger watching an old movie thats been watched before. The emotions and feeling over the scenes get blurred over time, the scenes not as crisp as they used to be. My brain tells me lies but my heart knows the truth. Part of me, my heart will always belong to you. But that part shrinks day by day. Our love was sweet yet doomed in hindsight. Didnt want to exhale my love for you. But life makes fools of lovers and I must. I exhale all the laughter, the smiles, the passion and loyalty you invoked in me. Its time to inhale new experiences and give my lungs a chance to breath perfume de love passion. Its time to let our love go from my head, my heart and from my soul. Its time to exhale. emotions. It hurts, thinking of you, I and love. The depth and height of the love I felt for you only God understands. First, in thinking of you after, I was hurt and angry. The weight of wasted years and wasted love squeezed my heart in agony. Now I am like a stranger watching an old movie thats been watched before. The emotions and feeling over the scenes get blurred over time, the scenes not as crisp as they used to be. My brain tells me lies but my heart knows the truth. Part of me, my heart will always belong to you. But that part shrinks day by day. Our love was sweet yet doomed in hindsight. Didnt want to exhale my love for you. But life makes fools of lovers and I must. I exhale all the laughter, the smiles, the passion and loyalty you invoked in me. Its time to inhale new experiences and give my lungs a chance to breath perfume de love passion. Its time to let our love go from my head, my heart and from my soul. Its time to exhale.

Let's raise a tree - in honour of Wangari Maathai. Unbowed to the end

Let's raise a tree to the woman who spent her life growing,
Replanting what others destroyed.
She was an earth angel,
Sent by God to keep the earth safe.
Intellect, courage and compassion he gave he,
So that she could fight for his beloved creation.
She was a wonder, a woman with no limits.
She left the world awed,
When she refused to be bowed
But now her bow has fallen,
Her arrows scattered.
Her dreams live on,
Her bow and arrows a legacy to be passed to the next generation.
Let's take it up,
Let our mother not go down to the ground,
With the passion she had for our land, our country, our world.
Let's mourn her and move on with her work, her passion.
Let’s raise a tree in tribute to a great Kenyan warrior.
She came, she loved, and she struggled and fought.
She conquered for the environment,
And stole our hearts.
Mother Nature, Prof. Wangari Maathai, Rest in peace, our earth angel.
Gone but not forgotten.
Unbowed to the end.

Liquid gold - in memory of Sinai fire and such other tragedies.

Hungry. Angry. Broken. Forgotten.
Their faces, resigned and tired,
Show their poverty and sufferings.
Their hearts lost hope long ago,
Their ambition is to get work for today.
God will take care of tomorrow,
That’s what those who still believe in him think.
They sit, waiting for the next deal.
Work is scarce;
Early in the morning they were at the industries
But the vacancies for today as every day were few.
Some wait for nightfall for they work at night, like night and day,
They are guards or thieves, two halves of the same coin.
One can’t exist without the other.
Then the smell comes,
And the tale of good fortune is told.
Liquid gold is to be found.
Jerricans and bottles quickly gathered.
There's a scramble to get to the treasure,
Liquid gold equals money, and money equals food, rent and for some alcohol.
They hustle to get some; this is a chance in a lifetime.
Then in the blink of an eye a spark makes love to the liquid gold.
Fire, hot as hell bursts into flames.
In instant skins, bones melt.
Pain so excruciating is felt as heat passes through tissues.
For some death is instant,
A blessing somewhat as pain only lasts for minutes.
For some pain continues as they fall, in agony.
Rescue comes but it is too late.
Liquid gold has left its mark.
A village falls to sounds of mourning as it wails over its dead and dying.
Today was supposed to be an ordinary day.
But death on his pale horse decided to pay a visit.
Smoke, half burnt timbers and iron sheets tell a tale of woe.
The stench of death is in the air.
Heartbreak, broken dreams and broken homes,
Will be the outcome of chasing liquid gold.

Dear Cupid

Dear Cupid, flying around with your cute baby body and little wings, how have you been? You seem to be busy, making people around the world fall in love. It's been a while since we hang out together. I think you have forgotten my name and even how I look like.

Cupid I know I said I am through with love for now, still nursing that broken heart. But its getting better, every day I get stronger, even though sometimes the heartbreak is so intense I tell myself I will never give away my heart again. But those episodes of mad hurtness are getting less and less as I deliberately choose to let go and forgive. I know being bitter will only make me a bitch/witch and I don’t want to be that man hating/ bashing chick.

Anyway the reason I am writing this letter is to ask you to pierce the right guy for me with an arrow this time. I would love to get a guy who not only loves me but can’t live without me in his life. A guy for whom I put the soul into his dance, who I am the spice in his food and put the dimple in his smile. They say in a relationship there's one who loves more and I don’t want to be the one who loves more, that’s what got me a broken heart in the first place. I want him to love me more.

I never want to write heartbreak poetry again. So Cupid please get me the right guy this time and bring him into my life. Then you can pierce my heart as well and then make me fall in love with him.

Dear Cupid, please don’t forget. Time is of the essence, I ain't getting any younger you know. Your friend and admirer.

Let It Never Be Said By Mugambi Nthiga

When Mugambi performed this poem at Wamathai Sept I was wowed. I was like that is my poem, my anthem. Thats the person I always want to be. That's why I had to post it on my blog. Enjoy.

Let It Never Be Said

Let it never be said that this warrior sold out

Coz to sell out is to be bought

And to be bought is to be owned

And to be owned is to cease to be yours

And cease to be you

And I’m not you, I’m me

To deprive this world of me

Is to shortchange the world, and you, and me

And in denying you me, I deny you He

And this gift

That He gave me

that the world may be drawn closer to the Holy Man they denied

The One that died

So that me doesn’t have to

In the first place.

Let it never be said that this warrior sold out

That he let go of his Paternal ties

For trophies that dazzled his eyes

Riding on hype and temporary highs

Not realizing he’s bastardizing

Everything he idolized

In the first place

Let it never be said that this warrior sold out

That he cast a glance at his humble armor

And despised it

Look at the stone tablet of his ideals

And excised it

Recognized the spirit within

And exorcized it

Rewound his flawless DNA

Into what the world said was AOK

Forgot his own standard

And molded it to what the world said it should be

Forgetting that it was in itself what it ought to be

Coz it got him to where he got to be

In the first place

Let it never be said that this warrior sold out

That he used his gift

Not to honor his maker

But to gather perks and paper

And conformed to the culture that pop dictated

And ate at its table

And bobbed his head to its rhythm

And stepped to its beat

Forgetting He, who put him on his feet

In the first place

Let it never be said that this warrior sold out

And exchanged something as eternal as finding his place here

For something as fickle as crowding our space with his face here

Who forsook his inherited portion

And gave in to inherent lust for forward motion

Who gave up spiritual robes

For earthly clothes

And the signature of the King

For diamond rings and bling bling

Who refused to stand down and bow down

To He who accorded Him the right to throw down

Underground, low-down spoken truth

In the first place

Let it never be said that this warrior sold out

That this warrior bowed out,

That this warrior copped out,

limped out, opted out, tapped out

Wore out, fizzled out, gave out

His anointed treasure in exchange for

A trifling pittance

An inevitable riddance

A fledgling semblance

Or a passing transience

Because everything was all good,

And long before he stepped onto the battle field

the battle had already been won

In the first place

Let it never be said that this warrior sold out

Let it never be said that this warrior sold out

Let it never be said that this warrior sold out

© Mugambi. August 2006

Cassanova

He's got swag.
He has that silver tongue that makes girls blush and draw maps.
An expert in turning nice girls into naughty girls.
He got the skills to turn the mind into mush,
make emotions run hot.
He makes panties drop, thats his forte.
He seduces,
Make loose inhibitions held in check disappear.
He is a ladies man,
But not every lady makes the cut.
He looks for beauty yes
But his passion is looking for innocence.
Its not about virginity,
Though he's partial to that too.
Its about getting a lamb,
All meek and sweet,
Turning it into a tiger.
And when he's done,
He views his masterpiece,
Nods because his work is done.
He must move on,
Because innocence is his aphrodisiac.
He leaves behind broken hearts and dreams.
He collects innocence,
Blends it into his cologne,
Its a trap,
To lure the next butterfly to come taste,
The sweet forbidden fruit.

Mr. Sun has come out to play!

There's a beautiful blue sky today,
Because Mr. Sun is out today.
He's gotten over his cold,
So he's come out to play.
He has his most cheerful smile on,
Look his dimples show how happy he is.
He is glowing today,
He wore his most brilliant yellow suit today.
The McClouds have run away to sulk,
They don't like it that Mr. Sun is back to ruin their fun.
Hip hip hurray lets go out and have some fun.
Lets go out to work, learn, grow and play.
Let's smile and be happy like Mr. Sun,
Dazzle people with our radiant smile.
Hurray, hurray, its a beautiful day today.
Mr. Sun has come out to play.

I'm not the girl in the X-rated rap video

This post is a response to a post by Wilf on Wamathai's blog, Wamathai.com called I am not a Mexican soap opera man.

I'm not the girl in the X-rated rap video.
I don't drop my panties just because you’re buying me drinks.
I am not a golddigger who needs money rained on her I can make it rain for me.
I know how to shake it but my goal in life is not to be a stripper.
I will not get pregnant with your baby just to become rich,
When that I bring baby mama drama.
I am not a chips funga or a home delivery.
Neither am I looking for a fling or to be a friend with benefits.
If your looking for me, bring you’re a game.
Come with your heart in your hands, not your John.
That chick in the X-rated video may look good,
Nice legs, tight ass and chiseled body,
But she has to keep her figure because it’s a job requirement.
Her job is looking for a rich man, she's a golddigger.
Am chubby but sweet, have cellulite,
And maybe my body's figure has been going just a little south.
But if you’re looking for a girl who'll love you with all her heart,
Who’ll love you for who you are
And not what you have look my way.
A gal who loves:
Your smile; your heart; both your big and small gestures of love;
Who’ll listen and support your dreams.
I'm not the girl in the X-rated rap video
But I can be the girl who is the real deal.

Chasing my dreams.

I will not give up,
Running this race,
Though my vision is hazy,
My brain oxygen deprived,
My heart feels that it will burst
And my feet feel like lead,
With acid corroding them I will not give up.
I'm running, courage and fear are my pace setters
And I must choose who I want to pass and
Who I must focus on to help me achieve my dreams.
My past chases me,
Running close behind me,
Disappointments and failures dog my heels.
I must be strong,
Keep running though I feel like stopping.
Many times I want to give up,
To stop and take a break,
Sometimes I just want to give up period.
But I must push on,
I must chase my dreams,
They call to me at the finish line.
Sometimes they laugh with me,
Encourage me that I will make it.
Sometimes they sneer,
Looking at me in contempt.
I must push on, I must keep running.
I must keep chasing,
Seeking to achieve my dreams.
I must keep running,
I must not give up!

Chasing my dreams.

You are the light that burns inside of me.

Every day the spark gets larger. The light of you grows inside of me, overtaking the darkness that plagues me. I struggle, not perfect. Hard to put my life in another's hands. I trust you, but I dont know if I trust me. Fallen so many times, when I should have stood. Sometimes I run the race, but mostly I walk, sometimes I even crawl. I believe that am growing, learning, becoming an instrument of your grace. Your love is healing my brokeness, renewing my mind and re-energizing my spirit. Take my hand, lead me, show me your paths, make me and mold me into the person you purposed I should be. I am weak but you are strong. You put the shine in my smile, the joy in my happiness, the peace in my turmoil, the belief in my disbelief. You are the Potter & I am your clay.