Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Memories of grandma's place - cucu.

As i sipped some traditional maize porridge this morning memories came flooding back of a simpler time. When i was young and I used to go visit my Cucu. I remember the fermented porridge she used to make, simply delicious. Sometimes during the day we would put dry maize with cobs in gunias and beat them with sticks to remove the grain,then put them in uteo's which were pepetad up and down to remove fluff.

Going down to the shamba to help Cucu with weeding.I remember learning how to milk a cow,that was a scary experience.The smelly pigs that had to be checked on and rabbits that were always reproducing. Learning to pick eggs from under the chicken and learning the gruesome task of killing a chicken, putting it in hot water and plucking its feathers.

I will never forget seeing the boys learn how to kill a goat, skin it and cook the different delicacies like mutura and roasted meat. Who can forget that first taste of meat, ambrosia. At night, we would seat by the 3 stone fire, feeding it with firewood we had cut during the day. We would huddle by the fire warming ourselves as we told stories. The aroma of baking sweet potatoes and maize that we had put to roast would fill the air. We would wait with bated breath for the maize to roast so that we could sink our teeth into them. I so miss that mukumo my Cucu used to make, that we used to drink with some tea.

My Cucu was so traditional yet modern. I used to love the fact that we wouldn't wash clothes by hand but use a washing machine. If we were good sometimes she made chips for lunch or pancakes for breakfast. And how we were so naive we thought air freshener was perfume and we used to spray it all over ourselves to smell good.

I remember the frightening sight the first time i saw a set of false teeth in a glass, i think i cried for hours. And in those days how i was a tomboy, climbing trees to get maperas. We used to run to my Cucu's neighbour's shamba to steal blueberries and apples, running like the wind when the caretaker came. I so loved going to Cucu’s house because she would spoil us like our parents never did.

Now my Cucu has gone to be with the Lord and all i have are the memories that keep her alive in my heart. She will always be alive in my heart and i know one day i will see her again. She gave me so much and taught me so many things that remain with me. I got my name Rayhab Wangari from her and i carry it proudly. I am privileged to have known her and been loved by her and loved her in return. I think the most important lesson that she taught me was about loving God with all your heart. As i sip my porridge my heart goes back to the memories of being young and going to my grandma’s house.

Rayhab 2009

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Crush (my thoughts)

I would love to say it was love at first sight
But that would be cheating.
Did think though that you had a lovely smile and great body.
I liked you for you made me laugh and treated me special.
It seemed a natural progression for me to have a crush on you.
All over a sudden I was so shy I couldnt meet your eye.
Me, with all my words I couldnt get two words to say to you.
How could I tell you that I had a crush on you
When to you I was just a friend.
Then one day i realised its much too late to stop the tide,
Because i realised that am in love with you.

Rayhab 2009.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Miss forever

Sugar am so in love with you,
I wanna be your forever gal!
Baby don't toy with my feelings
Because am not a toy to be played with.
Give me your heart and I will keep it safe for you
In exchange I'll give you mine.
I dont want to be your miss right now,
While you look for miss right,
I want to be your miss forever.
The one who wears you ring,
bears your children and uses your name.
In our sunset years,
I still want you to call me pumpkin
As I call you sugar.
My beloved come embrace me,
And tell me you love me.


Kate looked across the room at Alex and Becky who were looking very happy together. She on the other hand had a big plastic smile that hide the hate in her heart. "Stupid bitch. She will pay for stealing my man." At that thought she smiled genuinely and went to offer her congratulations to the engaged couple.

Kate and Alex had met in campus. Alex was the popular, handsome boy who played rugby. Kate was the pretty, shy and quiet girl who played chess. They met in one of their computer general classes. Kate was a whiz the computers, knew everything about them including how to hack into computers. This of course was not something that she shared with anyone.

Alex started hanging out with her some evenings, asking her to help him with some of his assignments. Kate developed a crush on Alex and as time went by her crush became love then an obsession. Alex liked hanging out with Kate. She did not have any expectations of him. She was always there for him when he broke up with a girl. They would hang out and have fun.

When they finished campus they decided to move to the same area. Actually they were neighbors. It made perfect sense. They would be able to watch each others house’s when one of them was not around. That was Alex’s reasoning. And besides he loved Kate’s cooking. He often joked, “Where can I get another lady who treats me like you?

Well, for Kate it served a double purpose. She would be able to keep an eye on Alex’s relationships. Secondly, it would give Alex a chance to realize that Kate was the girl that he needed to settle down with. Unfortunately for Kate it didn’t work out like that. Alex loved her but as a friend. He saw her as his best friend, the one woman he could depend on.

Kate realized that Alex was taking his time in noticing her. She decided nothing would stand between her and her man. She started sabotaging his relationships with his girlfriends, in small ways which could not be traced back to her. Just when Kate thought Alex was starting to see her as his only dependable girl Becky appeared!

Kate blamed herself over and over about how Alex met Becky. Kate had been invited for a formal dinner, which was been held for a client. Since her date cancelled at the last minute, she asked Alex who agreed to be her date. She had never taken Alex to her work dinners. She did not want to share him with anyone at work. She knew that if he meet her friends from work they would keep asking about him and ask her to set him up with them. How would she explain that she wanted Alex to herself?

She moved around the room with Alex, all the women were checking Alex out. In her heart she said, “eat your hearts out girls, soon he will be mine!” Then Becky came over. A colleague, she was the beautiful girl with a good heart who everyone loved. No one ever had anything bad to say about her. She asked Kate for a present that Kate had left in the car for the client. Kate went off to get the gift leaving Alex and Becky together.

When Kate got back Alex and Becky were laughing like old friends. Kate had a twinge of jealously but thought nothing would come of it. But when they left Alex was speaking in glowing terms about Becky.

The next Kate heard, Becky and Alex had a date. Then two, soon the two were inseparable. Kate tried her usual tricks but nothing was working. The matter came to a head when after three months Alex asked Becky to marry him.

Kate realized that this time if she didn’t move quickly she would lose her man for good. And Kate wasn’t planning to lose. She wanted Alex and she would do what it takes to have him.

So here she was at the engagement party scheming on how she would get Becky out of Alex’s life. To anyone watching, her she looked the picture of happiness. If only they could see inside her head how she was planning to ruin the engaged couple’s happiness.

Next morning Kate went to work early. She went to Becky’s computer and typed in Becky’s user name and password. Becky was the chief accountant and she had access to all the financial data and online accounts. Kate hacked into the accounts and removed some money from the office accounts to Becky’s savings account. Over the next few days, she did the same at different times of day.

Then at the end of the week she asked for leave for one day to go help Becky to shop for clothes for the wedding. Then she sent an anonymous email from a bogus email account that she had set up to the CEO that someone in the accounts department was embezzling funds.

The next day she went shopping with Becky encouraging her to buy expensive clothes and jewelry to the honeymoon and wedding. She was setting Becky up to look like she had stolen money to finance her wedding plans.

The next day she reported back to the company as usual. She went into her office, the sign on the door written IT Manager. At around ten the CE0 called her to his office. He said that he had gotten a disturbing note that someone was stealing money from the company. Could she allow the auditors access to her computer so that they could check the transactions of the accounts department. Kate said she was happy to and left the office with a satisfied smile.

The auditors spent all week going over the records starting from a year before to the present. Finally they found the transactions from Becky’s computer. They gave the information to the CEO. He called the police and they came to arrest Becky at the office. She protested her innocence but to no avail.

Kate defended Becky to her workmates. She told them that maybe the pressure of getting married had gotten to Becky and she had decided to borrow some money to pay for the wedding.

Later, a heartbroken Alex told Kate "I don’t know what it is about me that I attract bad girls. It seems that every girl I meet is just pretending to be good. Thank God I have you. A true friend. Good and kind. I don’t know what I’d do without you. My best friend."

Kate smiled. She was going to get her man and no one would stand in her way. One day soon Alex would see that they were the perfect couple.

Rayhab 2009

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Crazy in love

Brian entered the busy restaurant, his intention to get some coffee and kill the hour before his appointment with his next client. The restaurant was doing brisk business and there were no empty tables. Brian spotted a table for two with a lady reading a book. He went over and asked if he could sit there or she was waiting for someone. She told him he could seat n then went back to reading her novel.

As Brian waited for the tea and samosas he had ordered, he looked over at the lady. She was quite pretty. She seemed totally absorbed in the book. Glancing at the title he realized it was the latest James Patterson which he had been intending to read. He told her he was sorry to interrupt her but was the book as good as other books by the same author. She looked up from the book and smiled. A smile that lit her face and made her look beautiful and made his heart skip a beat. She told him it was a great book about a psychopathic school teacher.

Having broken the ice, Brian started a conversation on various James Patterson’s and their themes. By the time he had finished his coffee almost an hour had passed and they had had an interesting heated discussion.

For some reason he felt reluctant to leave. He pulled out a business card and gave it to Hilda as she had introduced herself earlier. She also gave him her card that said she was a psychologist. Brian went for his meeting and blew away the client with his enthusiasm and energy.

A couple of days later, Brian was sitting at his desk, staring at Hilda’s card. He had had such a great time with her; it had been a long time since he had such stimulating conversation. He debated on the ethics of calling her as he was a happily married man with a beautiful wife.

He rationalized, pondering on the implications of asking her out for lunch. Then, deciding that it’s not like he wanted to start an affair it would just be a matter of meeting and discussing books, he called her. They agreed to meet the following Tuesday which was the first Tuesday of the month. He quickly jotted the date in his diary.

When they met, the food was good and the conservation excellent. Brian thought it had been a long time since he had such a great time. Hilda was a brilliant conversationalist telling him stories of sum crazy clients she had treated.

When he paid the bill and just as they were waiting for change she gave him a paper bag. Inside was the James Patterson. “Thought u might like to read it, you can keep it,” Hilda said.

Then, almost as an afterthought she told him that this evening there would be a Kwani open mike for poets. “I know its short notice, but am performing a piece and would love sum moral support,” Hilda said. He wanting to know more about this captivating lady agreed. And that was how it started.

Brian started hanging out with Hilda at least once a week. Sometimes hanging out with her and her friends sometimes with his friends. She took him to literary events that he had no idea had been taking place. Brian thought to himself, “It’s great to have such a good platonic friend.”

Hilda was such a good person to hang out with. He had gotten business from some of her friends and she kept sending him new clients. He thought that it was a lucky day when he had talked to Hilda at the restaurant. So what if he cancelled dinner sometimes with his wife to take Hilda somewhere. He was getting more business by hanging out with her, he rationalized. In the last one month he had bought a new car and taken his wife out of town 4 a romantic weekend.

“Hilda is such a great person and she is not interested in me romantically. We have the perfect friendship.” Poor Brian by the time he would realize the truth it would be too late.

When Hilda invited him to her house for dinner with a few friends, he was willing. He had always wanted to see where she lived. Coming from a very exclusive neighborhood, Hilda had always told him that he should move from the middle class house where he was living to a more prestigious area now that he was doing so well.

The dinner at Hilda’s house went very well. Her cooking skills were superb and Brian was having a great time with the others. When Hilda told him to stay and help her with the dishes after dinner, explaining that she had given the maid the evening off, he thought nothing of it.

At sum point later she excused herself to go to the bedroom. Brian finished washing the dishes and walked around the sitting room looking at the expensive beautiful pictures and paintings hanging on the walls. He was so busy staring at one that he did not notice her come in.

When he turned she was lounging on the sofa wearing only a set of red heels and some red see through lingerie. He could not believe what he was seeing. His mind was trying to digest what he was seeing. His first instinct was to run and get the hell out of there. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe.

He made the mistake of opening his eyes and looking at her instead of the door. She smiled at him and beckoned for him to come. He felt powerless, wanting to leave, to do the right thing but wanting to stay and explore those curves. With resignation he gave in to his fate.

Three months later, Brian was in a happy mood. His business was going well and he was making money hand over fist. His love life was complicated but doable. Hilda was a very demanding lover but he was in control and his wife well, he told her he was working hard that’s why he came home so late or sometimes not at all. But the thing that was making him the most happy was some news his wife had given him.

Brian was in a restaurant waiting for Hilda. He would have to find a gentle way of telling Hilda that they had to end their relationship now that his wife was pregnant. They had been trying for several years to get a child and nothing had happened. Now he was going to be a dad. Yippee.

He regretted that he would have to break Hilda’s heart. She was the perfect woman but not the one carrying his child. He knew it was a son, could feel it in his bones. Hilda walked in into the restaurant looking at shunning as she normally was. She looked excited and happy.

After ordering for their meal Hilda told him, “Brian I have something to tell you. I know it will come as a surprise but I know this news will make you happy.” She paused. “Am pregnant!”

Brian was so stunned he couldn’t speak. She went on, “I know it’s going to be hard but you can finally leave your wife. You can move in with me and when you get your divorce we can get married.”

Brian looked at her and didn’t know what to say. Then he found his voice. “I can’t leave my wife. She told me yesterday that she is pregnant! She’s my wife and I can’t leave her. I wish there was another way we could be together but I can’t do this now!”

Hilda gasped and then kept quiet. “Am sorry,” he said. “My wife is the innocent victim in this. I can’t make her suffer for my mistakes.”

He tried to hold her hand but she took it back. “What will we do?”

Hilda said, “I’ll take care of it!” She picked her handbag and left.

Two weeks later Hilda called him to her house so that they could talk. She said she understood how things were and that she had accepted that he would not b able to leave his wife. She asked to just one last night with him so that they could say goodbye. Brian could not refuse her.

At 5am Brian got a phone call from his neighbor. “You better come home. There's been a robbery at your house and your wife has been murdered.” Brian dropped the phone in shock.

He turned to Hilda who looked at him with an eerie smile. She said, “Now we can be together. I took care of things for you. No one will suspect you. Am your alibi and your mine.”

Brian in his last conscious thought before he put out his hands to strangle Hilda to death was, “Oh my God! Hilda is stalk raving mad and she killed my wife and my son.”

© Rayhab 2009

Thursday, July 9, 2009

A woman's place

A woman’s place
Where is it that you want me to be?
In the kitchen, garden, your bed,
Taking care of your children
You have defined me
Based on what you need me for.
I am a vessel,
Am not a person if I don’t have a role?
Roles that you have defined
I do not rate consideration
As a person, for just being me
Putting me into moulds that you have made
I have a mind, heart, soul, body
I refuse to let you use me as you will
I can stand without you, you know
You are the sore that keeps me from moving
Keeping me in one place, imprisoned
I break away from you
Move forward
A woman’s place
That terminology is obsolete.

Raylitpoems 2004

dying poets

Read somewhere, poets die early.
Poet dies; broken heart, when life’s work
Delegated to obscure books of poetry
Gathering dust on shelves.
While, audience congregate around
Cable TV, Videogames, Movies, MTV, popular literature
All his lyrics, drama, rhythm and rhyme,
That makes the beautiful art of poetry is lost,
Like famous loud drums of Africa
That beat no more.
Poetry put into a box and shelved.
Isn’t it just poetic justice,
Poetry becoming a dead language like Latin?
Poetry ages past, entertained kings, common people:
Said what society felt, could not articulate.
Yet now dying art, struggling in the fight
Against the marching armies of media and technology
A poet dies like a rose, withering, fading with broken
As audience shoots poisoned darts of disinterest
Brain dead he becomes,
Even before being declared legally dead!

raylitpoems 2004

Loving you

Every day is an adventure,
Knowing and loving you has changed me,
Made me free, wild and abit insane.
But through everything i do,
I think of you
And miss you with all my heart!
You make me compete,
Your love makes my heart beat,
My Knight in shining armour,
The keeper of my heart.

Raylitpoems 2006

teddy bear

My teddy bear's a great guy
treats me well and
lets me rest my head on his
shoulder at nite
keeps me warm with his hot water bottle
and is with me all through the nite
but he doesnt make my heart race
like u do or make me warm and ....
so dont tell him my secret
that i much prefer u to him
and that am in love with you
coz it would break
his little teddy bear heart
then what would i do
with my nites
coz i would have no one
to keep me warm and cozy
and give my teddy bear kisses.

raylitpoems 2005

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Heart break harvest

Why is it that you cause me pain
Yet I still cling to you?
You reap my heart out
And play with it like a toy,
Yet for you it still calls.
I cannot understand this love
That cuts me deep,
Every time I think of you.
I exsosize you,
Like a ghost
You haunt me, my dreams.
I rationalize, philophize, pray, strategize.
But you don’t leave my mind/heart
Why, I ask
Does my heart call out to you?
When I know that all I will reap
Is pain when you leave yet again?
Why is it?

Raylitpoems 2004

Glass shattering hurt

I gave you the glass ball that was my heart.
First you cherished it,
Later you were indifferent,
Was that why you were careless?
Dropping the ball, shattering my delicate heart!
You went away, left me in pieces.
I hurt, crying for so long because you broke me.
It took me years to glue the pieces together,
Getting scarred with pain
As sharp pieces of your betrayal cut into me.
Now you've back.
'Trust me. I will not let you down again' you say.
Trust, a fragile thing like
My pieced together, glass heart.
My mind says NO!
My heart is in no condition to speak
But it beats louder when you are near.
Is that why I hesitate to keep it safe?

Raylitpoems 2004

Black widow spider

She is spinning her web,
Invisible threads that bind you to her,
Laying her traps to catch you but you cant see!
Think your so clever,
Your so focused on her,
Trying to evade her obvious moves that you cant see the invisible threads
Intertwinned with the black visible ones she is spinning.
Think your so wise
Keeping off the well light black threads she is casting towards you
Yet she watches,
Manipulates as you walk on the invisible threads.
Sticky sticky threads.
You start to realise that somethings not quite right
But its too late
Your stuck and as you struggle
The threads tighten.
You realise the game is up,
Her seductive smiles says it all.
She's got you in her grasp,
Theres no escape,
You have to surrender to your fate.
She's got you! Got you good!
Black widow spider.

Glance my way oh romeo

Our glances, they dance
Flirting as they meet, like lovers anew
And then shyly they break apart.
Our smiles, they hold abit of promise.
A tease of something behind those lips
A promise of romance, of passion
Our bodies they move to an invisible beat.
Heartbeats drumming in anticipation.
Our feet they shuffle,
Taking a step further, moving closer,
Wanting more intimacy, to tango
One heart reaches out, another’s heart is given
As hands touch, souls meet and love booms
Not a word is spoken, yet the heart has chosen.
A glance, simple, so full of meaning.
A glimpse of romance.
Oh that I may share a glance with you
be swept away by the magic that lurks in your eyes.
I dream how it would be when we share a glance.
Oh, please glance my way.



Martin sat at the bar, sipping his drink. He scanned the crowd at the nightclub. The human traffic moving in and out of the dance floor. He was looking for sumone, on the hunt for his next prey. No one interested him.

Been there, done that, he thought. Then he saw her on the edge of the dance floor. Oh my, sexy sexy sexy! The woman seemed to have been poured into that red dress. It clung to her curves like a glove and she had the body of a godess. He had to get a second look, his predator instinct kicking in. He almost roared, the mighty lion in hunt of the beautiful gazelle.

Martin moved up to her n ignoring the other hungry eyes watching them, started dancing with her. Up close she was more striking then from afar. She had clear ebony skin, brown eyes and a beautiful face with full lips that begged to be kissed. He flirted with her as they danced, romancing her with seductive smiles and those smooth dance moves that he had perfected. He bought her drinks and made her laugh, lowering her inhibitions.

At 3 o'clock he whispered in her ear that they should go to his house to get to know each other better. She agreed and went with him.


Next morning, Martin woke with a smile on his face. Oh what a night, he thought. Still sleepy but content, he reached out for his latest catch but she wasnt there. She's probably downstairs making breakfast. He drifted back to sleep feeling really tired.

A couple of hours later he awoke and looked at his watch. It was 4 0'clock in the afternoon. "Oh my God! Am late for work," he said. He woke up and looked around at his empty room. What! His eyes widened and he had to rub his eyes. All his things were gone. He ran all around the house getting almost hysterical. He had been systematically robbed. The hunter had become the hunted, the playa had been played.

Rayhab 09.