Monday, March 26, 2012

Silver and African jewelery

Call me on 0722466958 or catch me on twitter handle - potentash

Dear love nimekusare!

Hey love, over the years we have had our good and bad times.

We started out as strangers, became casual friends, then close friends, then best friends. It was like that for a long time. Then we had fights and arguments. Love you and I broke up our friendship, our relationship.

It hurt, It broke my heart and I got depressed but eventually my heart healed somewhat. But love you wanted us to try again, recapture what we had. It worked but didn't work.

I loved you love but in the time we were not speaking something broke. The cage where my heart was, where I had kept my heart as a treasure for you broke.

My heart like a bird in captivity tasted freedom and it flew into the sky, flying in the wind. It doesn't want to go back into its cage. My heart wants to be free. Love what we used to have is no longer enough for me.

That's why nimekusare, I am done with our relationship. Its time to move on. Love I love you but Love its not enough. I want more then you can give me. Maybe one day my heart will feel the way it used to but for now its goodbye.

Goodbye love.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Mr. Politician - you have made "Politics" to be a dirty word.

Dear politician.

It's time for another letter. You have made politics a dirty word, it’s like when we were kids and saying "sex" was a dirty word. Maybe that’s why individuals with a reputation to protect are scared to be sullied with that title that’s why they don’t run for political posts.

All the thieves, crooks, lazy people and dishonest people all want in, it’s an easy way to make money and you don’t even have to work. You can even go to sleep on the job; the seats are so comfortable and expensive. Don’t worry the seats are paid for by the mwananchi.

Let’s be honest, you are not in it for the service to the mwananchi, you are in it for yourself! So when you start advocating for the elections to be held at a certain time and say that its behalf of Kenyans who are you fooling?

Why do you behave like elections are only about the presidential race? Like it’s all about you and your ego. You want to be president. I don’t think you have the moral, intellectual, economical, ethical and social capabilities and etc to be president. Seriously it’s time to consider a career change.

You manipulate people for your own ends, you even have people killed or jailed for disagreeing with you. You use power as a weapon to oppress others, instead of using power of as an instrument of development and peace. We want people who care about our country to be politicians and honesty you don’t meet the criteria actually you don’t meet the minimum threshold for a leader. It’s time to redefine the word politician so could you start looking for another job early.

Sincerely the citizen.

PS. Sincerely don’t rely on the tribal card these elections. That is so 90’s. If you don’t have a solid agenda for building Kenya and a track record to show what you have done so far don’t even bother applying for the job. We will not vote for you based on tribe, sex, social status, comedian status, economic status and all those other cheap little tricks that you used to pull to get us to elect you.

PS2. I hope you are not using CDF money as your pocket money and entertainment allowances. We will be cheering when the anti-corruption people issue a warrant for your arrest and they show you on TV being taken to court.

Dear God - Thank you

Hey God.

It seems like its been a long time since I have written you a letter. There has been so much going on in my life and in Kenya. Well you know all that so I don’t have to tell you.

Anyway this is just a thank you letter. Thank you for life, every day that I am breathing is a miracle. I don’t take it for granted.

Thank you for my family and friends. They are my support system. They are the ones who keep me moving, stop me from falling, and encourage me. Thank you especially for the friends I have made this year through doing Mizizi Bible study at Mavuno. They are truly awesome and a blessing to me. Thank you for my nuclear family. They are truly awesome. My mum, sis, nephew and brother are truly awesome. I don’t take the gift of having them lightly.

Thank you so much for my job. It’s a blessing and I am learning new things in my new role. I pray for your blessings and favor.

I mentioned Mizizi and I thank you that I finally took the plunge and did it. In the last 9 weeks it has changed my life. Taught me new things I didn’t know and reinforced old things that I may have forgotten.

Thank you so much for my Country Kenya. For a long time we took peace for granted before the election violence of 2007/2008. Am so grateful that we have peace now. I pray that no politicians or other people with ill motives will make us forget what we have and start us on a self destructive path again. I pray for peace in our hearts, minds, in our homes, schools, and workplaces. Lord help us be a nation of brothers and sisters, not a nation of tribes.

I thank you so much for everything you have done for me, everything you are doing, and everything you are going to do. You are truly awesome, majestic and a real God whose miracles I see every day. Thank you for being my God, my father, my friend, my provider, my protector. You are everything to me. Thank you for loving me even when I fail you. Thank you for lifting me up when I fall and thank you for giving me a hug when I need it. thank you for the times also when you throw me in the deep end when I need to grow and am acting like a child because I don’t want to.

I pray Psalms 91 today over my family, friends, and myself. I ask for your blessings and favor over the people I love, I ask for strength to love my enemies.

Thank you so much for everything. You are truly Awesome.



Friday, March 16, 2012

Mr. Politician let me introduce myself

Hallo Mr. Politician.

I know you don't know me even though I have been communicating with you so I thought I would introduce myself.

Like many other Kenyans I am a worker, working every day to pay my bills. I wish I could say I save alot of money every month but with the economy being the way it is its a struggle even paying bills.

Everything has gone up and the salary doesn't seem to be adjusted for that. So now some things that were basic necessities are now luxuries. And the taxes are still the same even though I am not doing too good on the money front. Then I see the government spending money on frivolous things like furniture from abroad then I wonder are the carpenters in Kenya incompetent?

Like so many other Kenyans my parents wanted me to have a better future so they encouraged me to go to school. Our generation we were told that education would be our ticket to a better future and a great job. So our parents hassled to get money to take us to school, even taking loans to get us through university.

After university jobs are few, and you Mr. Politician take the plum government and parastatal jobs and give them to your relatives, friends and supporters. Then the rest of us are supposed to hassle where when companies also hire your people so that you owe them favours? I get mad because some of your relatives don't even report to work, they are ghost workers yet earning alot of money and allowances. Yet the graduate who really needs the job and has psyche to work is a makanga, a shoe shiner etc etc.

(cartoon of Ghost workers)

I don't mean to pick on you Mr. Politician but it seems since I elected you the only people to benefit are you and yours. We am left struggling to find work. And for those of us who have jobs we struggle from paycheck to paycheck. There are many things to say Mr. Politician and we will be communicating in the next couple of weeks.

Until next time, Sincerely the citizen.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Final warning letter - Mr. Politician

Hallo again Mr. Politician.

Its me again. I know you think I pick on you too much. Its nothing personal. I elected you to go to parliament to represent me. But guess what, three quarters of the time you dont attend, the half of the time that you do attend you are caught on camera sleeping and the other half you are either quiet or acting out with other members of parliament.

You know why I get mad? If I did what you do at my workplace I would get warnings then get fired. But not you, for you its business as usual. You can imagine how I your employer feel. I am your boss, you dont work, I cant fire you and then you act like your my boss.

I wish you could be employed by performance contract. You dont work you dont eat and you go home. I am praying for that day where you will be elected and work for me instead of yourself. Since man cannot live by prayer alone, I am talking to like minded employers like myself. We are tired of your shenanigans at the workplace.

This is your final warning letter. If you dont shape up we will sack you. Yours sincerely, your employer, the Citizen.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I want to fly (dont drink and drive, You may shatter a child's dream)

I want to fly,
Like the other boys do,
When they play football,
And their laugh fills the air.
I want to soar like an eagle,
As I laugh, dance, play.
I want to play marbles,
And play with tires,
Drive it around pretending like it’s a car.
I want to ride a bike,
Fall off and get back on.
I want to play hide and seek,
Then go off for adventures with the boys.
I want to be a normal boy,
Doing normal boy things,
But I can’t,
Am stuck, watching, looking, wishing.
Seated in a wheelchair,
On the inside looking out,
My dreams shattered,
When a drunk matatu driver,
Collided with another intoxicated lorry driver.
So I only fly in my dreams,
Where I can be a normal boy again,
Until I wake to the nightmare that is,
My normal paralyzed self.

Heart in shadows.

My heart is in shadows,
I brought it to the light,
To bask in your love,
But the disappointment was too bright,
And my heart got scorched,
So I retreated to the shadows.

Was I naive?
Why didn’t I listen to my head?
My mind knows how to steer away from danger,
But my heart is too soft and sweet,
Willing to give benefit of doubt!
So I got burnt again,
And my heart aches,
Wishing it could turn back the clock a few days.

My heart is strong,
This time I put sunscreen before leaving the shade.
Once bitten, twice shy,
I had learnt my lesson,
But it seems I thought I was invincible,
I wasn’t, am not,
So the burn still hurts,
Because maybe I didn’t apply a strong enough factor,
Or I trusted the sun that had scorched me before.

So I retreat to the shadows,
Nursing my scorched heart,
I will survive I know,
I have survived before.
I am strong,
You will not break me,
And one day I will emerge, victorious
From the shadows,
Into the light of a gentler, warmer sun.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Mr. Politician, looking great I see!

Mr. Politician,

Hey, how are you doing? Man you look good. That Italian suit that costs more then what I earn in a month. That silk tie that could pay my electricity bill. Those italian shoes that could pay my rent for a month. That shirt made out of pure Egyptian cotton, that would pay my ... Dont get me started.

Oh damn your looking good. Too bad my sweat is paying for that good life your having. Am working hard but I dont see the fruits, because your eating all of them. Am barely making it, while your busy spending it. You dont want to pay tax, say you have many responsibilities, kwani what do I have?

You dont want to pay tax yet you expect me to pay tax so you can live it large while I barely make it from payslip to payslip. As you sleep on your 1000 thread cotton Egyptian sheets do you dream about me, do you? Do you think about your meal ticket? Do you ever wonder how am doing? Do you ever think how you could make my life better?

Do I ever cross your mind anytime as the song asks? I do, I think about you all the time? Get mad when I thing about my money which you use casually. Am tired of this life where am the slave in the plantation and you are the cruel master. Its time for change, for new things and new realities. Its time for you to go back home where you belong!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Love doesnt always have happy endings.

Love doesn’t always have happy endings. It does in fairy tales, movies, and books. Real life however is complicated.

Right now the man I loved with all my heart is somewhere in the air flying back to the USA from Kenya. He was here for 2 weeks and it was fun seeing him again. I had waited a very long time for this, for him to come to Kenya. So you would think it would be all romance, love, and sunshine.

I wish. The thing is you can love a person with all your heart but sometimes they can break your heart and things are never the same again. Not all men are bad. There are some great men. He is one of them. The kind of guy you want to marry and grow old with, have a bunch of kids with.

The thing is sometimes love is not enough. You can love someone but time and distance conspire to set you apart. It hurts but that’s life. Sometimes someone you think the world of stops making you a priority in their life. Sometimes you cling on hoping things will change. Sometimes you have to let go, knowing that if it was or is meant to be, it will be. Sometimes you just have to close that chapter and move on.

Now my heart is flying over the Atlantic with him. He was my first love, the man I fell in love with, jumping into the deep end. But you know what, I have finally let go. Sometimes love doesn’t always mean you will end up together. It’s like the story of the greedy hyena. Let me borrow one version from the internet.

One day, a starving hyena was walking along a road when he came across the appetizing scent of roasting meat. This was the closest the hyena had come to having something in his stomach in the many days that food had eluded him. Without wasting time, he immediately began following the promising scent.

After a short distance however, the hyena discovered that the road branched into two paths. The hyena was in a dilemma after realizing that the scent came from each of these paths. After pondering his problem for a while, the hyena came to a decision – to walk down the two paths at the same time. That way, the he would not miss any of the two feasting opportunities.

To achieve this impossible feat, the hyena set himself astride the two branching paths and began walking. The more the roads diverged, the wider he had to stretch out his legs. Despite the extraordinary effort involved, the hyena’s greedy streak would not let him quit. Finally, the hyena split into two.

(Borrowed from - cock and bull stories - the greedy hyena.

Sometimes you love something or someone. And you want it all. But you come to a cross road. You can’t have everything. You have to keep something and lose something by taking a path. Sometimes the path of love doesn’t go straight in one lane. It has separate lanes when the road forks. You have to choose. You have to be wise. You can juggle balls trying to go to both paths at once. Sometimes you have to let do, otherwise you will split into two.

So love is not easy. Two people can love one another but have different goals and ways to reach their goals. Sometimes compromise works sometimes it doesn’t. Some times you can’t have your cake and eat it. Sometimes your dreams and hopes separate you more then mountains, rivers or distance could.

If I knew at the beginning it would end like this would I have jumped in? Probably not. But if you ask me if I regret what we had, no I don’t! It was special and beautiful in its time.

I learnt alot from that relationship. There were great times and bad times too. But I grew, I learnt. I am a better person for it. I won’t lie; I would have loved things to be different, for things to work out the way we planned. But life is full of surprises. It can’t be planned to exact propositions. It just is.

So my love flies on the wind, wishing things were different but knowing that in the end it was worth it.

I have grown in the last one year. Things that shook me then don’t shake me now. I am charting my own path. So what if love didn’t work out the way I planned it. I have had to re-examine my life, make changes, make adjustments, give up some old dreams, and come up with new ones. Life has changed but so have I. I have gotten over my broken heart. All the bitterness and anger I had is gone.

I could spend time with this guy, laugh, and have fun when he was here. Maybe because we were friends before we became more then that. We still are, even though I wrote a couple of pieces of hate poetry when we broke up last year. I am glad God gave me a chance to say goodbye in person, to get the closure I didn’t get last year.

I still believe in love. One day I do hope that I will have my fairy story ending but maybe I won’t. But now I think I can handle it. I don’t know what plans God has for me, the great things he has in store. I just have to live one day at a time, leaning on him and knowing he has great plans for me.