Friday, June 18, 2010


I was handsome and powerful. I had a destiny set out for me from even before I was born. I was a hero, everybody adored me.

But she, she brought me to my knees. She was very beautiful, with a body that seduced with every step she took. I couldn't get my mind off her. I knew I should resist her but she was so tempting, so irresistible.

She was not of my class, social status and most important my tribe. But it didn’t matter to me. She made me feel like The Man. Made me feel like no woman had ever made me feel. Made me want to do anything for her. And I did.

I endured the scorn of my people and hers. In the end she was my undoing, I did not know she had an agenda.

I had a secret, a secret that only God, my family and I knew. She played me like a violin. I sang like a canary. Well, at first I lied but eventually I told her my secret. Then she destroyed me by selling my secret for silver.

They broke me and chained me. Now I stand half naked, a broken man, blinded by love and by man. They mock me, drink to my humiliation. But even now I am still a man, with a destiny to fulfill. I pray to the God I used to serve for a chance for redemption and revenge.

Baby, my seductress, my poison, my Achilles heel, you and your friends may have ruled me out but see now here you will all die at my hands. You may have delayed my destiny but what God promised he will fulfill.

So let’s give a loud encore for my final act, bringing down the house.

My temptress Delilah! She tore out my heart, left me weeping deep into the night. I broke her nation's heart when I returned the compliment. My life for your friends, family, leaders’ lives and of course yours.

The end. Love and tragedy. Lovers and gamblers.

The hero and the temptress.

prodigal son

I wanna have fun and be free. This house feels like a jail, no freedom, no fun.

I want to party like my friends but my Daddy he's stuffy, boring. All he thinks about is making money. But what is money if you can’t have fun with it, that’s my question? So I asked my dad for my inheritance. He asked me to reconsider, told me that I shouldn’t waste my inheritance on things that cant last. I told him I got to go, I got to fly. With tears in his eyes, he gave me my settlement and told me goodbye.

Yap yap yap am going to have fun. And the parties were good. I had money to burn. There were beautiful gals and explosive drinks. I was having a ball. I had many friends and every club welcomed me with open arms. It was going great until one day my money was gone. The beautiful gals, the flashy cars, the groupies and friends they were all gone.

I had to downgrade. I had no skills or education. I got a job in a dingy cockroach infested hotel cleaning dishes. I slept behind the back entrance of the hotel, where the trash was thrown out. Sometimes I was so hungry I ate things from the bin.

One day I got sick, real sick. I wondered if I would die here, alone, poor and hungry. I thought of my father's house and how even the servants ate well. I wept when I thought of all my mistakes. I decided to go ask my dad for forgiveness and ask him to take me back as a servant.

I took the bus home. How different this was, I had left in a car and came back walking. I was so sick I could hardly walk; I dragged my feet as I approached what was once my home. Up in front I saw my father's big mansion.

I saw my father standing at the entrance. He saw me, ran towards me and hugged me. I wept, confessing that I was not worth his love and I was only fit to be a servant. He looked at me and said, "My son, I love you and forgive you. I am just happy that you are back home. Come let's get you cleaned up."

I could not believe my dad could forgive me but I was happy I get a second chance. The prodigal son was home.

Lights out

Bedtime and precious should be sleeping,
But she is huddled in bed weeping.
Daddy is creeping,
Into her bed where she should be sleeping.

Inside precious is screaming,
Goes into fantasies where she be dreaming,
That these things aren't happening.

She tries to tell mum but shes not listening,
Says she is make believing.
These tales too hard to be believing.

So little precious she be weeping,
All night because dad is creeping,
Into her bed when she should be sleeping.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


You look at me but you see right through me.

You measure everything about me from my clothes, my shoes, jewellery etc. It doesnt matter how i think, the things i believe or my talents.

You judge me based on one meeting and assessing only my external shell, my appearance. Then you say your a pretty good judge of character.

You cant even begin to scratch the surface of whom i am and what am about. I am not my hair as Erika Baduu says. Am more then my appearance.

Maybe if you looked beyond your "appearances are everything," you would realise that we have something in common.

In the meantime keep on walking by, because you are too superficial for me.

That is a judgement based on intelligence rather then appearance.


My new ambition or goal is to be happy. This may sound strange to you. Happiness is one of those things that seem to be easy to have in theory but in practice it isnt.

Its not about having things but about attitude. Its deciding that no matter what happens you will keep up the joy. Whether you have money or not. Its about keeping a positive attitude and always realising that there's a rainbow.

I have to be honest, Ì had sank pretty low in the pessimist camp. There were nothing going right for me so why should I be happy. I hated my job, was miserable because my boo was abroad, was stressed because I was not using my talents and my relationship with God lets just say it was hanging by a thread. Lets face it I was living in a town called misery. Blaming not having this or that for my unhappiness.

I have finally realized its not what you have or the circumstances around you its whats in you that determines your happiness. Its your attitude and belief in yourself. You may have everything you have ever wanted or imagined and still be unhappy and not satisfied. And you can have nothing and still be happy.

Whats the difference? The attitude you decide to take and implement throughout the day. So I know am not where I want to be, or have the desires of my heart. Am going to choose to be happy anyway. Am going to choose happiness despite the circumstances.

I know I got a long way to go, attitudes and habits to unlearn. But a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. And thats my goal, taking the road to happier living.

Join me if you dare!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I'm loving ... Me!

Now it came to be, I be my worst critic. Never thinking I was good enough. Always judging me, made so many mistakes, so I was hating on me. Always fighting weight issues and self esteem. Always looking for joy, yet happiness was running from me. Thought am through, never gonna get a breakthrough. I was down for the count. Then you changed me, made me realise am beautiful, and precious. You loved me, made me see my worth. Showed me my life has just began and I am more then a conqueror. Gave me hope for today and gave me purpose for the future. You put a smile on my face because I know I got the victory. Now am loving me because Jesus you set me free. Yes now am loving ... Me!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Sista love


She's of my blood yet our relationship is more complex then just DNA.

She is part of me, she makes me complete. She makes me smile when am down. In any situation she got my back, doesn't matter if am on the wrong.

She knows me like no one knows me, even my dark side but she loves me anyway. She brings out the best in me and I would do anything to protect her, even give my life for hers because she's precious to me, and I am her protector, that’s my role in her life.

She's soft yet inside she's made of steel, she can bend when needed yet remain strong and sure in adversity.

She's a daughter, a sister, a mother, a cousin, a grandchild, a friend. Each day many times she wears different hats yet she is the same person. She's loving and sweet yet she can be firm and stern.

She's my mirror yet she’s my reflection.

She is my best friend. My sister.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Searching for love

Been around the world looking for love, looking for someone to be mine, someone to love me. I've been chasing love, because i didnt want to be alone, wanted to be cherished and love. I done stupid things for love, changed myself to get love. I been up because of love, my spirit gone up to the sky. I been down because of love, love done broke my spirit and brought me down. I been looking for love, and its hurt me. Love has left me broken, hurt and ashamed. But i never knew real love until i found you. You took me broken heart, my sorrows and put me back together. You showed me love, wiped my tears and made me smile. You made me whole again. Been around the world looking for love, yet you were always there, always waiting, always loving me. I finally realise that your all the love i need. Your my friend, my saviour and my king.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

A letter to my mother

Dear Mum,

Thank you for being my number one cheerleader and mentor. When I look back I could not have gotten to where I am without you. I was just thinking as I got my first masters results that I would not
be here without you, without your belief in me.

When I got my high school results I knew there was no way with those grades I would be able to go to university. But you believed it, even when I didn't. And you encouraged me and told me that I could go and make it and eventually after a couple of years after high school I did.

You sacrificed for me, making sure my fees were paid. You encouraged me and told me that if others could make it so could I. And I did. Your belief in me made me want to be the best I could be and I worked hard to live up to that belief.

Getting that degree meant alot to me. Not because I could get a job with it or because I was now a university graduate. But because it represented what someone can do if someone else believes in
them and their potential.

When I think of how far I have come and my achievements I am so grateful to you. For having big dreams for me, believing in them and investing in them. I would never have gotten this far without your belief in me and my potential. When I look at where I am and the things I have achieved its because someone believed in me, my mother believed in me. I am so thankful to you for your belief in my potential. I am a seed that has grown into a tree.

Your words and actions have nurtured me and made me into the person I am today. My prayer is that when I have kids I will believe in them, their talents and potential the way you have me.

Thank you for being my cheerleader, my mentor and my biggest fan.

Regards. Your daughter Wangari.

Saturday, June 5, 2010


Am grounded,
Cant fly no more,
Fallen from grace,
Wings clipped.
Cant run on divine spirit,
I used to soar,
Above the oceans and the mountains,
Mounted up like an eagle,
Flying until I could reach the heavens.
Took my eyes off the goal,
Forgot that I need the wind to fly
And tried to soar on my own.
I slipped, dipped and then tipped to the ground.
My angel wings got clipped,
Hurt I cant fly no more,
My pride is in tatters,
I have no where to turn.
Everywhere I look,
They laugh that I have fallen,
Never liked that I could soar,
Others they fly,
Not at all bothered that I am fallen.
I want to rise,
Pick my self up
But am ashamed,
Am damned
By my actions.
I want to fly again
But I don’t know how.
I need new wings,
New hope,
I cant do this on my own,
So this is my S.O.S.

Thursday, June 3, 2010


I'm chasing you yet it seems you are always slip out of my grasp. You are like an Gazelle and I, a Lion. Am hungry for your company, chasing after you but when you sense I am near you bolt. Foolishness on the other hand is trying to seduce me to join her team. Her pleasures have no equal and her food is addictive. One taste and you want more. I want to be with wisdom but she is hard to find and even harder to understand. But foolishness, she understands me and only too well! She knows my weaknesses and knows how to force me to my knees. She is a temptress, a conniving witch. Yet still I seek and crave wisdom to be my companion, my friend. I want her to teach me, to nurture me, to change and transform me into a better me. So I pursue her and I know one day I will catch her.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Runaway smile

My smile has run away
And I don't know where she went.
I think it's because she and my heart had a fight.
My heart was hurt,
And my smile tried to cheer her to no avail.
So my heart said some nasty things
And my smile ran away to a far off place.
Now Mr. Frown is here and I don't like him.
He gets annoyed at simple things.
Mr. Frown is such a downer.
I miss Miss. Sunshine, my smile.
I'm asking, have you seen her?
Please tell her if you do that I miss her
And my heart is not the same without her!
Tell her to come home where she belongs,
Then Mr. Frown will go away.
Come home smile,
Come light up my face.

Runaway smile

My smile has run away and I dont know where she went. I think its because she and my heart had a fight. My heart was hurt and my smile tried to cheer her to no avail. So my heart said some nasty things and my smile ran away to a far off place. Now Mr. Frown is here and I dont like him. He gets annoyed at simple things and he is such a downer. I miss Miss. sunshine, my smile. I'm asking, have you seen her? Please tell her if you do that I miss her and my heart is not the same without her. Tell her to come home where she belongs then Mr. Frown will go away. Come home smile and light up my face.