Friday, December 18, 2009

Baby Jesus

Innocent baby, lying in a manger, angels awatching, singing lullubies. The big shining twinkling star it provided light for the wisemen as they travelled to worship by his cradle, while little baby Jesus lay in hay as the animals looked down on him in adoration. Alas a plot was afoot to put out this new innocent light that was shinning. In darkness the family fleed into the night, seeking santuary. My sweet loving baby Jesus, from birth some they loved you and worshipped you as the messiah and king. Others they plotted your death, that blood shall be spilt and the cry of a mother would be heard through the night. Merry christmas baby Jesus thank you for shedding your blood that i may have life. Thank you for the light you shown in the darkness on christmas day. Merry christmas my Lord Jesus. Merry christmas one and all.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Gal stop trying to be a woman when your only a gal

Gal you strut around in your fancy clothes, your makeup, high heels and skin tight clothes. Gal stop trying to be a woman when you’re only a gal at 8 years old.

Gal your strutting your stuff, showing off those budding breasts and swinging your hips. Trying to make those boys notice you and tell you your pretty. Gal stop shortchanging yourself, losing your innocence to make the boys notice you. Gal stop trying to be a woman when you’re only a gal at 14 years old.

Gal your strutting your stuff, drinking with those men. Being the cool gal, the life of the party, being the hottest chick on the block, every man has your number on speed dial. Gal stop trying to be a woman when you’re only a gal at 18 years old.

Gal you’re strutting your stuff. Living in an expensive apartment, driving a top of the range car and eating at five star restaurants. You boast about your man whose am MP, who does everything for you but do you know he's just using you for sex. There are rumors he has HIV and you never use a condom. Gal stop trying to be a wife when you’re only a mistress.

Gal you’re strutting your stuff, wearing your short skirts and tight blouses that show off your breasts. You’re getting it on, on the dance floor, shaking it, trying to attract the attention of the guys so that you can get a one night stand. Woman stops trying to be a gal when you’re a woman at 45 years old.

Gal strut your stuff, be who you need to be. But gal respect yourself, love yourself and don’t try to be someone that God didn’t mean you to be. Don’t be a woman when your only a gal and don’t let yourself be dirt when your more precious then diamonds. Gal be what God meant you to be. A Diva. A Queen. A bride of the son.

Raylitpoems 09

Potent ash

Mixed year of blessing and cursing.
Of shattered heart and uncovered masks.
Of dreams that got set ablaze and then burnt to a crisp.
All that remained was ash, but potent ash,
Phoenix like reincarnation words emerged.
New dreams reformed,
Planted in fertile ground,
Grew gaining root,
Feeding on love, pain and sorrow.
As year turns a page potent ash feeds the dreams
From it shall emerge visions and plans victorious.
Potent ash shall scatter into the wind,
Fly into the storms and regain shape
In ink to write words across the page.

Raylitpoems 09.

Potentash blog name for

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Love virus

I don't wanna miss you,
I wanna be strong.
My body, heart and mind betray me,
Despite my best intentions.
Your a love virus,
Weakening my system.
You've given me a fever that I can’t get rid of.
My temperature rises just by thinking about you.
You make my knees weak,
My heart beats too fast.
You can’t treat a virus, it’s not curable
So I guess am stuck on you,
Making me weak,
Giving me fever
And causing me to get giddy.

raylitpoems 09

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Vuta pumz (in honour of World AIDS day.

He seduced me,
with flowers and perfume,
telling me that i was,
the most beautiful exotic flower in bloom.
He bought me chocolate,
said that i was his chocolate sweetie,
made me think that he could not breath without me
because i was his oxygen.
Told me that we should make love,
to prove that our love was for real.
I shed my innocence, showed my love.
He messed my health, gave me HIV.
Now years later, another cold chilly day.
A withered flower,
that is no longer fragrantly sweet,
lying in a deep freeze in the morgue,
leftovers of another valentine.

Raylitpoems 2005.

Friday, November 20, 2009

My struggles as a man... By Maik Kwambo

my struggles as a man…
they keep me from self actualization and wholeness
I have an inability to communicate my emotions
I have been socialized to suppress them
the only form of communication I know is aggression
I feel silenced when frustrated, disappointed, sad or lonely
because I cannot identify what it is I am feeling
I do not know how to express it constructively
probably this is the reason I speak in slang’
because without an emotional outlet I feel like a mute person
a mute person trying to speak a foreign language

I am expected to live up to the myth..
the sex athlete myth...
to most of my peers it is not a challenge
they probably think it is a right of passage
or the natural order of the universe
sadly this is a creation of society
too many of my peers have bought into this myth
and have the seeds of their misdeeds scattered nationwide
others have succumbed to the ravages of deadly STD’s
but still…inferior are those who are not athletes in bed
for their sexuality shall always be questioned
and aspersions cast on the size of their manhood

as a man I have to struggle to be the moneybags man
the moneybags man is all so powerful…
he has money…power…influence…
resultantly his doors open up effortlessly
me…I have to put up with the everyday world
dead end jobs…internal discontent…heartbreak…
spend months trying to woo the apple of my eye for a night out on the town…and then she refuses
this struggle to prove I am as good as mister moneybags is all too time and energy consuming

I struggle to paint a positive picture of men
but all around me the ladies retort…
“I don’t need a man in my life…”
I cannot blame them for these remarks
in my world…many men have not been raised to be men
they have been raised to be males
being a man is much more than pissing standing up…
it’s about integrity…responsibility…
honesty when it’s not the easy way out
being a man is treating people like human beings…like equals…
I struggle to be a positive role model
these are my struggles as a man

what's love got to do with it - final 3 part

"your lucky you almost had a miscarriage. Be very careful that u don't trip again" The doctor told me that i needed to be on bedrest in hospital for a week so i was admitted for observation.
My husband came to see me everyday asking for forgiveness. He promised that he would never hurt me again. I didn't know whether i believed him. i was pregnant and had no job. Where was i going to go?

I didn't know what to do and i knew i couldn't go back home to my parents who were poor and could not afford to feed two extra mouths. They were so excited when i married a man they considered very well off.

So i went back home after one week to my husband. I thought he had learnt his lesson when i almost lost the baby. He was so loving and so excited when we got a son Kevin. Kevin was the light of my life. Spoiled but sweet. We had another child after that, a girl Mercy.

Most of the time things were good but sometimes my husband would get into a rage, hitting and punching me. Once he broke three of my ribs and another knocked out two of my front teeth. He always took me to hospital and paid the bills. I used to tell the doctor that i was a klutz so clumsy and accident prone tried to leave sometimes but he always came begging me or my family to give him another chance.

Things came to a head when Kevin was in primary at around six years of age. We were called to Kevin's school and told he had beaten up a girl who had taken his book. In the headmasters office my husband brushed it off as a minor incidence. “that's just how boys are. Sometimes they like to fight. It doesn't mean he is bad.”

i told Kevin off for beating a girl. he looked me straight in the eye and said, “then if it's bad to hit a girl why does dad beat you? I was too embarrassed to reply. but as i looked from father from son i had an insight. i saw what my son would become one day to another woman if i didn't do something.

my husband dropped us home after verbally abusing kelvin for discussing home issues in public. He also told Kevin to expect a beating when he got home. He wasn't angry because Kevin had beaten up the girl but because of saying infront of the headmaster and teacher that his father beat me.

I waited for my husband to leave and then I went and packed my clothes and those of my children. I went into the wardrobe and removed a stash of cash i had hidden and a bank account card.

I told Kevin we were going visiting and we needed to get his sister from school. Without looking back at the big house with beautiful furniture and everything a gal could dream of, i closed the door to my nightmares and opened a gate to a new life.

I wasn't going back to my parents because my husband would find me there. But i had made a friend who my husband didn't know about. She had seen what my husband had done to me on numerous occasions and she had told me if i ever needed a place to stay i could go stay with her.

I know this will be hard. But in the end to save my children who i love more then myself its time to get out. Am praying to God for strength to help me do what i have to do for my children.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

whats love got to do with it - part 2

I know you think am naïve, going back to him after he slapped me. I guess you would have told me to run as fast as my legs would take me. But if you did I wouldn’t have listened. My friend tried to tell me that it was just the beginning but I didn’t listen.

Things were pretty calm again. He never hit me again. At least not until after we were married. He had gone out one night and came home drunk. I was 6 months pregnant, and didn’t want to go out so I went to bed early. He came home at 2. I guess he was expecting me to be up waiting for him to come so I open the door. He knocked furiously on the door but I was deep in sleep so I didn’t hear him.

He called me on the cellphone. When I came to open the door he was spitting mad. He slapped me, asked me what kind of a wife I was, sleeping when her husband is knocking on the door. I tried to tell him I was resting. That made him see red.

He punched me in the breasts and then kicked me. I fell to the ground and started screaming. I felt pain in my abdomen. God was I losing my baby. I started screaming at him that I was losing the baby.

As if in a trance he switched back to my love. He told me he was so sorry. He couldn’t believe that he had done such a thing. “Baby it was the alcohol,” he told me. He wept as he drove me to the hospital.

“Baby am so sorry. The devil entered me. Forgive me baby I never meant to hurt you.” He chanted over and over.

When I reached the hospital I was taken to emergency. The doctor looked me over and asked me what had happened. I looked at my husband. He looked so helpless and sorry. He could not have meant to hurt me or our baby.

I lied, never knowing that that would be the first lie in a series of lies to come. That this would be my first visit to the hospital and not the last.

to be continued ........................

Monday, November 16, 2009

what happened to loving one man?

it seems
that the only person who believes in loving one man is me.
everyone else seems to tear it down
saying i got all my eggs in one basket.
i wonder what happened to loving one man,
to saving your heart for just that special one,
it seems nowadays that
love is an investment
you need to have stocks in different portfolio's
short term, medium term and long term
so that if there is a shortfall your covered
but what if i dont want to love like that
what if i want to gamble it all
on the big one
that your the one and only one,
that your the only man that i need.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

What's love got to do with it.

I met him and we fell deep in love. He was so caring, gentle and loving. He was handsome, a prince among men. I felt so loved n special, all my friends were envious. He was perfect.

The first time it happened I couldn’t believe it. He asked me something I can’t remember what but I remember I thought that it was something that was none of his business. I answered rudely saying it was none of his business. That's when he slapped me. I was in so much shock I didn’t even cry or scream.

I walked out of that house vowing never to come back. I went to my gal's house to plot my way forward .he found out where I was. He sent me flowers, tried to call. Then he sent me a card saying "am sorry baby I didn’t mean to hurt you. I love you. Come let me make it up to you. I will never ever hit you again. Come home baby."

I thought about it, prayed. I remembered the good times and I couldn’t believe that he would hurt me again. I knew him; he was one of the good guys. I went back and he was my old love, my best love. And that’s how it all began.

Raylitpoems 2009

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Kamuti - love spell

Some say you must have put for me that kamuti,
That our love ain't natural.
They say there are so many men out there,
Why are you sticking to this particular one, and he's so far away?
They can’t explain it, why I love you,
I can’t explain it either.
It’s not something I set out to do,
Like, oh am going to fall for you
Never let go of this love.
It’s not that it doesn’t hurt,
This distance, this space between us.
Sometimes I wish I could untie the knots you have tied,
Across my heart so I can be free to love again.
Get so lonely sometimes,
I would dearly love to put my head on your shoulder
For comfort but I can’t.
But when I think about you not being in my life
At all the pain cuts like a knife.
I feel like my heart is ruptured and bleeding
Toxic acid into my system.
I am in a catch 22,
Damned if am with you and damned if am not.
So I don’t know, is it really that love portion
Or the natural kamuti that stirs my heart
Towards you and only you,
Because my heart wants what my heart wants,
And my heart wants you.

Raylitpoems 09

Saturday, October 17, 2009


It seemed like a good idea at the time,
but when I had to remove my top and bra I got shy.
He was looking at me, a patient look in his eyes,
so I lay down on the bed and tried to relax
trying not to think of what was to come.
I wish I could say he was gentle
but no, he squeezed my breasts like they were lemons
and he was looking for juice!!!
Then he told me you should do this more often,
i looked at him with an incredulous look.
Then it was all over,
my breast check was done,
good news, no lumps found,
bad news, i felt violated.


I like you,
actually I love you.
You bring out my best side.
Make me laugh.
When I need someone your there.
Theres no one I depend on more then you.
I can call u anytime I need you and you rush to my side.
So when you tell me you love me
and want to be my man, my heart's breaks.
I love you, yes
but just as my best friend.
My heart belongs to someone else.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Rat race - with a light touch

Whoever said life was a rat race knew what was going on in my life.
I envy the free rats that are in the wild
because I feel like one in a cage
in a wheel trying 2 keep those wheels moving
taking a break 2 eat something
then back 2 the wheel 2 keep it moving.
feel like an in a circus jumping through hoops of fire 2 make my boss money
yet at the end of the day all i get is peanuts.
feel like am always trying 2 swim away from the sewer,
the stink, the rot in my life,
but am not strong enough,
Because the currents keep pulling me back in.
Feel like am an experiment in the lab
with scientists observing seeing how much can she take of stress, pain,
going round in circles
ending up at the same place no matter which way i turn
then theres the predators the cats just waiting 4 me 2 step out of the cage
and damn if i ain't in danger
its a man eat man society
and i guess theres no honor amongst predators
then theres this guy who writes the book who moved my cheese
about sum clever mice who get their cheese n eat it
then i wonder whats a rat to do to get some respect around here.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Mills and boons romance types.

I should, 4 know stop reading these mills and boons type of books. I should stop believing in love at first sight and meeting a guy and knowing that i want to spend the rest of my life with him. Maybe its the stories we used to read when we were young, the beautiful cinderalla who became a princess or sleeping beauty who was woken by a kiss from a handsome prince. Does it get better then kissing a frog who turns into a handsome prince( i wouldnt kiss a frog for all the money in the world). These fairy tales brought us up thinking of a man who would do anything to find his one true love. Yes fine i got my heart broken as well as broken a few hearts but i still believe in love. Maybe its the mindset i got from reading those stories or the real life examples like my grandparents that ive seen. Its true read love aint easy to find nowadays but i believe that the man thats meant for me is there. And maybe thats why i watch soaps because even though the main characters fall in love, break up and face difficulties getting back together against all odds they do in the end. Maybe thats why i read the mills and boons types because i hope there will be a good ending to my story, i hope. So no, i aint giving them up yet though i know i should.

Monday, September 21, 2009

The art of understanding yourself

I found the book in my drawer,
Title: the art of understanding yourself.
I wanted to laugh because I wondered when I gave up on it,
On understanding myself.
I buried my dreams in a grave six foot deep,
Covered it with soil, wire and cement so that no one could dig them up.
I don’t know when I stopped chasing my dreams,
Settled for harsh reality, a cruel taskmaster.
My dreams faded and died.
I thought I buried them alone
But along the way, I realized I buried my spirit and courage
To transform the world and myself.
I lost my spirit of boldness and courage, my light.
Surrendered to the dark,
To the disappointment and bitterness that ate at my heart,
Leaving at its center a broken soul that could not mend itself.
I stand at my dreams tombstone and wonder,
Do I have the courage to dig up those rotting dreams from the ground?
To resuscitate my courage and rise from the dead like Lazarus,
Or will I walk on the earth, a zombie, breathing but not living.
A shadow of what I used to be and wanted to be.
I look at the shovel, “the art of understanding yourself”
Wondering, do I have the courage to dig
And discover what lies beneath the grave?

Thursday, September 17, 2009


She drives you crazy.
You can’t stop thinking about her,
She is permanently etched in your mind's eye.
There is something about her,
That grips you,
Makes you want to do crazy things,
Like say I love you,
Let me be the one that you go home to.
She makes you want to commit,
To say bye to bachelorhood.

What is it about her that holds you like iron bars,
Is it her soft lips that smile seductively?
Or her laughing eyes that one minute are knowing,
Then when she sees you looking turn shy,
Is it her face, ordinary yet beautiful,
Or her African figure,
Her swaying full hips.
Or those legs that you cant take your eyes off
When she deems it necessary to wear a skirt.

She is a contradiction.
Sometimes she is so shy with you,
Blushing when you tell her she's beautiful
And that you love her.
Yet sometimes she challenges you head on,
Asks for the respect that is due to her,
No, today she's not taking your bullshit.

The most amazing thing about her,
Is that she is so down to earth,
When you need her she's there,
And she would never betray you,
Because you mean the world to her.
You are her Romeo and she is your Juliet.
And she really means it when she says I love you.
Sometimes she may want to strangle you
Or tell you to jump off a bridge because you annoy her.
But she knows that in the end,
She's in it for better or worse because in the end
You’re the man she loves
And you’re her heart.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


I was secure in my world,
Knowing that my world revolved around me.
I was the queen of all I surveyed.
Minding my own business because if I didn’t who would mind it for me.
Only to discover a coup was going on,
While I was daydreaming and skipping happily
In my dreams and fantasizes about how things would be in future.
I was displaced,
My world spun on its axis,
And instead of finding myself on the same spot,
I had been displanted,
Like being in the Equator only to find yourself in the North Pole,
It’s strange,
You always believe your world revokes around you
But what if you’re only human
And your world has been evaded by some aliens,
Intent only on destruction.
Destroying what you believe in,
Changing your life in ways that you can’t imagine.
They want to take over your world,
And make you a slave.
What do you do, do you fight,
Or do you run, run until the end of the earth
Looking for salvation
Or will the answer come in time
From the heavens?
Hello, is there another human out there?
Because am sending SOS!


I felt a stirring inside of me
That with time has grown.
I feel restless, poised
But for what
Don’t know where I’m at.
Just living day to day
Waiting for the sun to come out.
Growing older, even my body betrays me
Yet don’t know what I want.
Ambition beckons me to step on the first lane
But my body calls me to nurture.
I am so tired of fighting
My brain against my body
Restless, always wanting more
Will I ever find contentment?

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Tom and Jerry politics

Mr politician,
I wonder...
When you were a child did you ever watch cartoons?
Because from what I see you behave like one.
Your like Tom from the Tom and Jerry cartoon.
The big fat cat trying to make life difficult for the little mice like Jerry.

Mr Politician,
You sit in your big expensive house with your many servants,
Drive your big expensive car fueled with taxpayers dollars,
Even get an entertainment allowance which u spend on questionable "entertainments."
While I, the loyal citizen pay exorbitant taxes to support your bad habits.
I have no food to eat, leave alone a big fridge like yours.
My children go to government schools,
Where for every one teacher there are sixty pupils,
While yours learn in luxury with computers and state of the art equipment.

Mr Politician,
Everytime I try to rise up economically, you bring my business down,
So that I may not complete with your multi-million business.
When I fight for my rights, you have me arrested and locked up.
Everything I try to improve my life and that of my children, you destroy.

Your so selfish Mr politician.
You only care about money and power.
Mr politician, I wish you do watch your cartoons,
Because I may be small like Jerry and your big like Tom,
but in the end I will bring you down.
No matter how many tricks you try in the end,
I will triumph because there are so many of me
And so few of you.
When the credits roll don't you know
That Jerry always outsmarts and outmaneuvers Tom.

Black widow spider

She is spinning her web,
invisible threads that bind you to her,
laying her traps to catch you but you cant see!
Think your so clever,
Your so focused on her,
Trying to evade her obvious moves that you cant see the invisible threads
intertwinned with the black visible ones she is spinning.
Think your so wise
keeping off the well light black threads she is casting towards you
yet she watches,
manipulates as you walk on the invisible threads.
sticky sticky threads.
You start to realise that somethings not quite right
but its too late
your stuck and as you struggle
the threads tighten.
You realise the game is up,
her seductive smiles says it all.
shes got you in her grasp,
theres no escape,
have to surrender to your fate.
shes got you! got you good!
Black widow spider.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

what goes around comes around - unedited

Kimani sat in the courtroom dock waiting for the judge to pronounce his sentence. The judge said, "Will the accused please stand up to hear the verdict of the court." Kimani stood up in his ill fitting suit and faced the judge. The judge said, "After listening to the evidence from the witnesses, I am convinced you are guilty of the charges. For the crime of smuggling and selling blood diamonds from Sierra Leone I sentence you to life imprisonment. May this be a deterrent to others like you how believe they can use their jobs to conduct illegal activities.”

Kimani looked at his lawyer in shock, then further to his family who were sitting in the viewing section of the courtroom. His mother and sister were weeping and wailing, his father and brother trying to comfort them.

Njoroge, his former best friend, workmate and yes betrayer, was comforting Kimani's fiancée. His arms were around her and he herded her towards the door, pausing as he reached the door to turn back to Kimani and smile. Kimani watched him walking out of the courtroom as he; the innocent dupe in a grand international smuggling ring was in chains.

Kimani grew up in a small village in Nyeri. His family did not have much money but they had enough food to eat. Kimani was a bright boy doing well in school. When he went to high school he joined the aviation club and learnt how to fly planes. After school he got a scholarship to study aeronautical engineering. He passed with flying colors and got a series of jobs. Then he landed a good job as a flight engineer with an international firm that specialized in small planes that transported goods all over the continent.

Kimani was excited because the money was very good. The plane would have just him and the pilot dropping and picking goods. Kimani had been working on getting his flying hours so that he could be registered as a pilot. That is what had given him the edge in the interviews. The fact that in an emergency he could also land the plane.

That is where he met Njoroge. Njoroge was the pilot and Kimani was the engineer/co-pilot. Njoroge was from a very prominent rich family. He had studied in all the best schools. Njoroge was being paid a huge salary to pilot the planes both small and large for the international company. "I like the small planes because they offer more flexibility in terms of work hours, I have my family business to run most of the time," he explained to Kimani.

Njoroge taught Kimani everything he needed to know about flying the small plane that they would be using. He would sometimes on long trips let Kimani pilot the plane. Kimani loved this time when he would get experience.

As time went by Kimani became more professional at flying and got his pilot’s license. Njoroge would allow him to fly more while he relaxed. Spending so much time together they became friends. Soon Njoroge would invite Kimani to events where the high and mighty were present. Kimani was intimidated but Njoroge told him to relax and have some fun.

Soon Kimani and Njoroge were hanging out together regularly. They would hit the town and party. Njoroge seemed to be known by everyone who was anyone. Sometimes Njoroge would tell Kimani to carry for him his bags or a bag to the customs and give it to a specific customers/immigration officer. He explained that he was carrying things for his family business and he did not want to be hassled by the immigration officer. He said that he wanted njoroge to help him because it would look suspicious if he was always the one going to that immigration officer. Sometimes though he would send him with his bags and tell him to use the regular

After Kimani had worked for about six months njoroge asked him what his plans were. He explained that he had a girl from the village nyeri who had just finished her degree in commerce and was looking for a job. He was looking for her a job in Nairobi so that she could settle down then they get married. Kimani also told him that he was trying to save some money so that he could set up a business for his brother and sister so that they could be independent and not have to depend on him.

Njoroge told Kimani to send Njeri’s CV to him. Kimani did and njoroge was very impressed. Njeri had graduated with a first class degree. Njoroge told Kimani to tell Njeri to come to Nairobi for an interview in his company. Njeri came and met with njoroge and he was further impressed. Njeri was very beautiful, soft spoken but aggressive. He offered her a job as his P.A which after consultation with Kimani she accepted.

Kimani was now very settled. He now could concentrate on making some money to build a business for his siblings. One day Njoroge called Kimani to his house. He had just flown in and Kimani had been on leave so they had not flown together. When he got to Njoroge’s house he found njoroge had a bottle of champagne on ice and he looked very happy.

“Kimani today is your lucky day. I just concluded some family business in Sierra Leone and got some of my money from it. I want to give you a loan so that you can start your business. You can pay me in a year’s time. There’s no hurry. I got money to burn and I don’t need it in a hurry,” with that he threw a bag at Kimani.

When Kimani opened the bag he found dollars that added up to around 800,000 Kenya shillings. He protested that that was too much money but njoroge told him it was ok as long as he made sure that he paid him back.

Please don’t tell anyone I lent you money. You know how guys are at the office. They will think am the World Bank. This is between the two of us, don’t even tell Njeri.” Kimani agreed too stunned to think things through.

First thing the next morning he deposited the money in the bank. Then he called his siblings and asked them to come to Nairobi. Within a short time, two months he had set them up in running a business selling imported clothes and jewelry that he would bring in when he was flying around Africa.

Kimani was happy. his plans were finally coming together. he was getting married to Njeri in three months. he had just flown in from sierra Leone with njoroge and he was looking forward to spending some quality time with Njeri. in fact he was carrying her engagement ring which he had just bought. everything was going like a dream.

Kimani and njoroge had just gotten off the plane and were picking their bags when Njoroge’s phone rang. he told Kimani to wait for him and walked off to talk on the phone. when he came up he looked upset. he gave Kimani one of his bags and told him to go with it, he was coming. he had left something on the plane that he was supposed to be giving Mutiso the customs officer.

Kimani took the bag together with his and headed for the immigration offices where the bags were checked. when he got there he asked where Mutiso was. the Immigration officer, someone he had never seen before told him" Mutiso is not here, I am the one here today. open the bags and let me see what's inside."

Kimani gave him the bags and looked around the small airport terminal. there seemed to be a sort of dead silence. he wondered where everyone was. it seemed the airport was filled with strangers.

the immigration officers finished with his bags and then opened the one belonging to njoroge. he seemed to be doing a through search in the bag. then he brought out a small bag which seemed to be at the bottom of the bag. he opened it and removed the contents. there were 8 uncut clear stones.

He picked up a phone and called someone “I have found them. I found them in the flight engineer's bag. come quickly"

Kimani stood there too stunned to speak. By the time he had recollected his thoughts there were two airport police at his side.

He protested. "it’s not my bag. I am carrying it for my friend Njoroge. It’s all a misunderstanding. Let’s wait for him, he will explain". The policemen looked amused at his 'lies' then shrugged their shoulders. They put him in handcuffs and led him to an interrogation room.

Kimani was forcefully seated on a cracked plastic seat and told to wait. In about ten minutes a white guy in an expensive Italian suit walked in. He had a name tag written inspector Matthews and underneath it was written international crimes, Interpol.

Inspector Matthews sat down and looked at Kimani. "Mr. Kimani, you have been found trying to smuggle in blood diamonds from Sierra Leone. We have been observing you for a while and finally we have caught you. Do you have anything to say?

Kimani said, "I am innocent." That bag belongs to the pilot of the company. He gave it to me to carry. Ask him. It’s not mine" the inspector looked at him. He nodded to one of the policemen who went out of the room and returned with njoroge and the bag Kimani had been carrying. Matthews gestured to njoroge,"is this him?” Kimani nodded.

Matthews turned to njoroge and said, "Mr. Kimani is alleging that the bag is yours. What do you have to say about that? Njoroge with an easy smile said, "he's lying that’s not my bag. If it is mine then it should have my things in it. Let's open the bag and see what’s in it."

Matthews gestured for the bag to be open. A suit of flight clothes in a laundry bag was removed, sum cologne, and some magazines. Kimani's heart sank when he saw the magazines had a subscription label with his name. What?

But he cheered up when he realized they were going to open the laundry zip. He knew he did not have any missing suit. This will prove my innocence, he thought. When they brought out the suit his smile faded. On the breast pocket in embroirred gold thread was the name Kimani, Flight Engineer. Kimani finally realized Njoroge had set him up to take the fall.

When njoroge saw the look of dawning realization on kimani's face he smiled. Looking at the inspector, Njoroge said "as you can see there is nothing of mine in that bag. Am sorry my friend has been caught up in this smuggling business but it has been proven that nothing of mine is in the bag. You have checked my bags and found nothing unusual. Can I be permitted to go? You know where to find me!” the inspector looked at him then told him that he could go.

Kimani was left in the room with the inspector. "Mr. Kimani do you have anything to say about the diamonds. It would be easier and better for you if you told us the truth," Matthews said. Kimani looked at Matthews straight in the eye and said, “inspector, I know what the evidence suggests but I am innocent. That bag may have things that look like they belong to me but they are not mine. You have captured the wrong guy.” Matthews looked at Kimani and then said, “we will see,” then he left the room.

Kimani was removed from his seat with force by the two policemen and taken into a waiting Land Rover where he was stashed in the boot. He was taken to Nyayo house to be interrogated. When they reached Nyayo house there were many reporters with cameramen taking pictures of this prestigious flight engineer who had been caught with blood diamonds. Kimani hung his head in shame n sorrow as he was led past the journalists into the building.

Kimani was taken to Kamiti after being interrogated by Interpol and the local police. Luckily for him twp of his cousins were in remand for armed robbery so they made sure he was not harassed. His family came to visit him, standing by him and getting him a lawyer.

Njeri came to see him after a week. "Sorry I couldn’t come earlier. It was very busy in the office with reporters calling to ask njoroge for a statement. Njoroge told me everything. How could you accuse him of being involved? He has so much money and he is rich. Why would he need to smuggle diamonds. Please confess the truth and they will go easy on you." Kimani looked at her and kept quiet.

After that she never came to visit. She usually sent his siblings with food for him and letters where she said that she was sorry she couldn’t come she was busy but she loved him.

After two months Kimani was arraigned in court. by this time they had gone through his financials and found the mysterious appearance of 800,000 kenya shillings. This and the fact that the immigration officer had disappeared were further nails in his coffin. Kimani thought the immigration officer had tipped njoroge about the crackdown at the airport and gone into hiding.

In court he plead not guilty and the date for the trial was set for three months time. The judge denied him bail based on the fact that he was a pilot n flight engineer and he had money. "there is reason to believe that the accused is a flight risk so I deny bail" said the judge as he summarized.

Kimani by this time had realized that things were really bad and he might be convicted for a crime he didn’t commit. After he was taken back to Kamiti the Interpol agent came to see him.

Inspector Matthews looked at Kimani across a scarred wooden table. He said "I have a feeling that your innocent or at a very small pawn in this chess game. I want to help you so help me help you. Is there anything you can tell me that can help me tie Njoroge to this thing. You do know Njoroge’s family have lobbied their friends including the politicians, the police and they are planning to bribe the judge. Everyone has agreed that everything be blamed on you. So if you don’t want to spend the rest of your life in prison you need to give me information. I am trying to investigate but the police here are stonewalling me.”

Kimani told him that the only thing he knew would link Njoroge to the diamonds was the missing immigration officer. Matthews told Kimani that he would leave his number with his brother so that he could find him if he remembered anything.” I am leaving the country but will be back for the trial. Let me know if you remember anything significant" then he left and Kimani was taken back to the cell.

The three months passed and Kimani was taken to court. Kimani had by this time given up hope of winning. He had heard rumors that the policemen who had arrested him had been bribed by njoroge to say that he had even been found with drugs in his possession.

Kimani was praying for a miracle, that Interpol would present new evidence that would clear him. At the back of his mind was the fact that this case was the typical case of a Kenyan prisoner. A guy like him, a man from the village with no connections and no money going against a man from a politically elitist family with money and connections. He knew things were really bad when Interpol did not present any new evidence. He heard in court all the evidence against him. He had to agree that if he had read just those facts in the newspaper about someone else he would have presumed them guilty.

Kimani wanted to scream 'am innocent' but he knew at this point all was lost. How many people who are in prison or remand are innocent with the system of corruption and greed keeping them in?

The trial had taken four months to conclude. By the time the trial was ending Kimani knew that there was no hope of being set free. There were only two people who could prove that he was telling the truth. One had disappeared and the other was the one who was framing him. "How could I have trusted him so completely? I should have asked questions. Now it’s too late!"

When the judge asked Kimani to start for the judgment of the court Kimani braced himself. The judge after finding him guilty sentenced him to a life imprisonment at Naivasha maximum prison. Kimani was so shocked. He watched as his family and friends cried. Njoroge walked Njeri out and turned back at the door to smile at Kimani.

Kimani was allowed to see his family before being transported to Kamiti where he would spend a week before being taken to Naivasha with other prisoners. He hugged his family and as he left his brother gave him his bible which he had left at his house. He was grateful though he thought how I can read God's word when he has abandoned me.

When he got to the cell Kimani opened the bible and flipped the pages. he saw yellow post it's that he had written verses and others things he was supposed to remember to do. He was discouraged thinking God how can one fall down so far so fast. When he was about to close the bible he saw a note with a name and location. He tried remembering why he had written that name, and then it clicked.

“Lord thank you for answered prayers. I finally have something that can help me.” Excited he asked another prisoner for a pencil and started jotting notes. His hope restored he went to his cousins who managed to borrow for him a cell phone. He called his brother and told him to call inspector Matthew and ask him to come see Kimani. Kimani slept well for the first time since he was arrested.

The next morning Matthews came to see him. Kimani told him, "Mutiso the immigration guy, I know where to find him or rather how you can find him. Njoroge covered his tracks very well. There is nowhere I can incriminate him. Mutiso, on the other hand did not expect to ever be caught. He used to ask me for a lift sometimes when we were really late getting to the airport. There were certain houses in Eastleigh where he used to go.

“there was a time the airport was swarmed with VIPs so he couldn’t leave with the bag njoroge had sent me with. He gave me a number, an address and a name where I should deliver the bag and a number for who I should call to drop off the package too. I guess he thought njoroge had told me what was going on so I was safe. I have written everything I can remember at the back of the bible.” Kimani had been speaking so rapidly he ran out of breath.

Kimani said,"can you help me? This is the only chance I have to prove my innocence."

Matthew looked at Kimani. “I will see what I can do. this information would have been critical before you were convicted but now it will be hard to work on after sentencing has been done. Don’t worry I will follow it up myself. I can’t trust the police not to leak the information I have given you then evidence and Mutiso will disappear. if I find out anything I will be in touch with your brother and lawyer. I know you are being shipped out next week.”

Matthew came up to him and shook his hand. "I have bad news though. you probably don’t know this but njoroge and Njeri announced their engagement this morning. they are getting married in a month's time. I thought you might like to know."

Out of the things Njoroge had done this hurt the most. Kimani was crushed that Njeri the woman he loved could betray him like that and with his worst enemy. Kimani walked back to his cell a broken man, something prison had not managed had been managed by his girlfriend’s betrayal.

Kimani was transferred to Naivasha maximum prison. There had been no word from Matthews who had disappeared. his family had come every day to visit him and encourage him. He had briefed his brother on what he had found but told him not to tell anyone and raise their hopes when all there was a very slim chance. When Kimani arrived at Naivasha his cousins had told him who to see so again he was lucky he was not harassed.

Kimani kept waiting. Matthews had not called or text his brother to tell him anything. Kimani was mentally counting down the days to the wedding of Njoroge and Njeri. he fantasized about being set free just before the wedding and bursting in just as the priest asked "is there anyone who objects to this wedding?" then he would walk in and everyone would stare in shock and horror as he said, "I object. this woman is pledged to marry me. I am the innocent one. lock him up" Kimani realized that it was a fantasy. things would never be the same again between him and Njeri. it was over.

Kimani was beginning to lose hope when two days before the wedding Matthews came to see him. He had a smile and he even hugged Kimani.

"We found Mutiso. he confessed after we also caught the man whose name and address you had. Don’t worry I used some of my contacts and the matter was hushed up. So your friend doesn’t know. we are ready to arrest him. Apparently the deals also involve Njoroge’s father and a few politicians who have been helping him to move the diamonds through diplomatic channels. I just wanted you to know. obviously you wouldn’t go free right now. we have to wait until there is another trial but in a few weeks you will be a free man."

Kimani expected to feel relief at those words but he didn’t. He just felt empty and angry. His life had been ruined by a man he had considered to be his best friend. His name was in the mud and he had lost the love of his life. All he wanted now was revenge. For njoroge to feel the pain and humiliation he had felt.

Kimani said, "Matthews I need a favor." Matthews leaned over and Kimani told him what he wanted.

The day was bright. the church was beautifully decorated and the cars outside the church showed that this was a wedding of class, no riff raff allowed. the guests were well known individuals from the political, social and music scene. it took an engraved invitation shown at the door to enter the glittery party.

The bride entered the church and the guests were stunned at how beautiful she was. she wore a white lace dress with crystal beads sown into it that glittered. she had a priceless diamond necklace around her neck and diamond eardrops. all this just made her natural beauty shine through. she looked like Cinderella at the ball. no one looking at her would be able to tell just how far she had come from the village.

when she reached the front the handsome bridegroom took her hand and kissed it. there were many in the audience who wished at that moment that it was them up there getting married. the couple was looking too hot for words.

the minister read from the word and then asked is there anyone who has reason to declare why this two should not get married. there was a hush. guests were conscious of the fact that Njeri’s ex-fiance was in prison. they thought maybe his relatives or friends would try to stop the wedding. there was a collective sign of relief when no one stood or shouted an objection.

the couple then said their vows and went to sign the marriage certificate. as soon as that happened they were brought back to the front of the church and declared man and wife before the congregation. all of this was being televised live on TV to viewers who had wanted to catch a glimpse of this fairy tale wedding. they thought lucky girl.

Then the doors of the church burst open and a group of policemen walked in. in front was Matthews waving a bunch of papers and a gun. he walked right up to njoroge and told him, Mr. njoroge, you are under arrest for the smuggling and selling of diamonds from sierra leone. also for falsifying evidence against Mr. Kimani. I have an arrest warrant."

Njoroge’s father came to protest, "do you know who I am. how dare you embarrass my son like this? I will have you deported and will sue Interpol." Matthews smiled and said sir, "i also have a warrant of arrest for you. you have been using your family business to buy and sell illegal gemstones from all over Africa" at this news Njoroge’s dad collapsed with a heart attack. Njeri in the meantime had started screaming, it can't be true, it can’t be true. Kimani was innocent. what have I done?

over the next few weeks there was a lot of media coverage on the story. several politicians and businessmen had been arrested for being involved in the diamond scandal. Some police were also under investigation. Kimani was a hero to so many especially those in prison. they applauded him for not giving up the fight.

when he came out after Njoroge’s trial and subsequent life imprisonment his family threw a party for him in Nyeri. he was trying to enjoy himself and enjoy the nyama choma and beer that he hadn’t tasted for almost a year, when his brother called him aside. "Njeri is here. she wants to talk to you. she is at your house." Kimani went there and found her. what do you want?

I came to say that I am sorry. I should have believed in you. Am sorry. is it possible to start over? Njeri pleaded.

Kimani sneered "you know what I can’t forgive. you have known me all my life and you choose money over me. I can believe njoroge fooled you at first; he did the same to me. but for you to forget the man you loved and believe a man you had only known for a few months. that is what I can’t forgive. anyway aren’t you married? you should be comforting the man you choose. don’t ever come look for me again. what we had is over. I never want to see you again" with that he walked out never turning back even as Njeri sobbed and screamed for him to come back


njoroge was jailed for life with ten strokes of the cane after evidence was uncovered about different smuggling runs that he had conducted. unfortunately for him, Kimani's cousins were waiting for him at Kamiti and well what I can say he did not see the good side of prison. after trial he was send to Shimo la Tewa maximum prison where he would expect to spend the rest of his natural life.

his father was also convicted and the family business shut down. his wife and daughters ran off to Europe to hide and escape the scandal.

Mutiso was also convicted of several crimes but his sentence was reduced after he testified and gave evidence linking several prominent politicians to the syndicate.

Matthews was given a medal of commendation by Interpol and another by his country. he is somewhere; undercover helping to get information on bad guys that will lead to prosecution.

Njeri was an outcast. no longer accepted in Nyeri and also in the elite circles she moved to Malindi were she is working as a tourist guide to make ends meet.

Kimani is studying law at the university of Nairobi. he realized that when he was in prison there are many prisoners who need someone to defend their rights even if they don’t have connections or money. he is also suing the government for 50 million for not investigating his case properly and falsely imprisoning him. the case keeps being adjoined but his lawyer Oozy is sure that in the end the government will have to settle the case.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Memories of grandma's place - cucu.

As i sipped some traditional maize porridge this morning memories came flooding back of a simpler time. When i was young and I used to go visit my Cucu. I remember the fermented porridge she used to make, simply delicious. Sometimes during the day we would put dry maize with cobs in gunias and beat them with sticks to remove the grain,then put them in uteo's which were pepetad up and down to remove fluff.

Going down to the shamba to help Cucu with weeding.I remember learning how to milk a cow,that was a scary experience.The smelly pigs that had to be checked on and rabbits that were always reproducing. Learning to pick eggs from under the chicken and learning the gruesome task of killing a chicken, putting it in hot water and plucking its feathers.

I will never forget seeing the boys learn how to kill a goat, skin it and cook the different delicacies like mutura and roasted meat. Who can forget that first taste of meat, ambrosia. At night, we would seat by the 3 stone fire, feeding it with firewood we had cut during the day. We would huddle by the fire warming ourselves as we told stories. The aroma of baking sweet potatoes and maize that we had put to roast would fill the air. We would wait with bated breath for the maize to roast so that we could sink our teeth into them. I so miss that mukumo my Cucu used to make, that we used to drink with some tea.

My Cucu was so traditional yet modern. I used to love the fact that we wouldn't wash clothes by hand but use a washing machine. If we were good sometimes she made chips for lunch or pancakes for breakfast. And how we were so naive we thought air freshener was perfume and we used to spray it all over ourselves to smell good.

I remember the frightening sight the first time i saw a set of false teeth in a glass, i think i cried for hours. And in those days how i was a tomboy, climbing trees to get maperas. We used to run to my Cucu's neighbour's shamba to steal blueberries and apples, running like the wind when the caretaker came. I so loved going to Cucu’s house because she would spoil us like our parents never did.

Now my Cucu has gone to be with the Lord and all i have are the memories that keep her alive in my heart. She will always be alive in my heart and i know one day i will see her again. She gave me so much and taught me so many things that remain with me. I got my name Rayhab Wangari from her and i carry it proudly. I am privileged to have known her and been loved by her and loved her in return. I think the most important lesson that she taught me was about loving God with all your heart. As i sip my porridge my heart goes back to the memories of being young and going to my grandma’s house.

Rayhab 2009

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Crush (my thoughts)

I would love to say it was love at first sight
But that would be cheating.
Did think though that you had a lovely smile and great body.
I liked you for you made me laugh and treated me special.
It seemed a natural progression for me to have a crush on you.
All over a sudden I was so shy I couldnt meet your eye.
Me, with all my words I couldnt get two words to say to you.
How could I tell you that I had a crush on you
When to you I was just a friend.
Then one day i realised its much too late to stop the tide,
Because i realised that am in love with you.

Rayhab 2009.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Miss forever

Sugar am so in love with you,
I wanna be your forever gal!
Baby don't toy with my feelings
Because am not a toy to be played with.
Give me your heart and I will keep it safe for you
In exchange I'll give you mine.
I dont want to be your miss right now,
While you look for miss right,
I want to be your miss forever.
The one who wears you ring,
bears your children and uses your name.
In our sunset years,
I still want you to call me pumpkin
As I call you sugar.
My beloved come embrace me,
And tell me you love me.


Kate looked across the room at Alex and Becky who were looking very happy together. She on the other hand had a big plastic smile that hide the hate in her heart. "Stupid bitch. She will pay for stealing my man." At that thought she smiled genuinely and went to offer her congratulations to the engaged couple.

Kate and Alex had met in campus. Alex was the popular, handsome boy who played rugby. Kate was the pretty, shy and quiet girl who played chess. They met in one of their computer general classes. Kate was a whiz the computers, knew everything about them including how to hack into computers. This of course was not something that she shared with anyone.

Alex started hanging out with her some evenings, asking her to help him with some of his assignments. Kate developed a crush on Alex and as time went by her crush became love then an obsession. Alex liked hanging out with Kate. She did not have any expectations of him. She was always there for him when he broke up with a girl. They would hang out and have fun.

When they finished campus they decided to move to the same area. Actually they were neighbors. It made perfect sense. They would be able to watch each others house’s when one of them was not around. That was Alex’s reasoning. And besides he loved Kate’s cooking. He often joked, “Where can I get another lady who treats me like you?

Well, for Kate it served a double purpose. She would be able to keep an eye on Alex’s relationships. Secondly, it would give Alex a chance to realize that Kate was the girl that he needed to settle down with. Unfortunately for Kate it didn’t work out like that. Alex loved her but as a friend. He saw her as his best friend, the one woman he could depend on.

Kate realized that Alex was taking his time in noticing her. She decided nothing would stand between her and her man. She started sabotaging his relationships with his girlfriends, in small ways which could not be traced back to her. Just when Kate thought Alex was starting to see her as his only dependable girl Becky appeared!

Kate blamed herself over and over about how Alex met Becky. Kate had been invited for a formal dinner, which was been held for a client. Since her date cancelled at the last minute, she asked Alex who agreed to be her date. She had never taken Alex to her work dinners. She did not want to share him with anyone at work. She knew that if he meet her friends from work they would keep asking about him and ask her to set him up with them. How would she explain that she wanted Alex to herself?

She moved around the room with Alex, all the women were checking Alex out. In her heart she said, “eat your hearts out girls, soon he will be mine!” Then Becky came over. A colleague, she was the beautiful girl with a good heart who everyone loved. No one ever had anything bad to say about her. She asked Kate for a present that Kate had left in the car for the client. Kate went off to get the gift leaving Alex and Becky together.

When Kate got back Alex and Becky were laughing like old friends. Kate had a twinge of jealously but thought nothing would come of it. But when they left Alex was speaking in glowing terms about Becky.

The next Kate heard, Becky and Alex had a date. Then two, soon the two were inseparable. Kate tried her usual tricks but nothing was working. The matter came to a head when after three months Alex asked Becky to marry him.

Kate realized that this time if she didn’t move quickly she would lose her man for good. And Kate wasn’t planning to lose. She wanted Alex and she would do what it takes to have him.

So here she was at the engagement party scheming on how she would get Becky out of Alex’s life. To anyone watching, her she looked the picture of happiness. If only they could see inside her head how she was planning to ruin the engaged couple’s happiness.

Next morning Kate went to work early. She went to Becky’s computer and typed in Becky’s user name and password. Becky was the chief accountant and she had access to all the financial data and online accounts. Kate hacked into the accounts and removed some money from the office accounts to Becky’s savings account. Over the next few days, she did the same at different times of day.

Then at the end of the week she asked for leave for one day to go help Becky to shop for clothes for the wedding. Then she sent an anonymous email from a bogus email account that she had set up to the CEO that someone in the accounts department was embezzling funds.

The next day she went shopping with Becky encouraging her to buy expensive clothes and jewelry to the honeymoon and wedding. She was setting Becky up to look like she had stolen money to finance her wedding plans.

The next day she reported back to the company as usual. She went into her office, the sign on the door written IT Manager. At around ten the CE0 called her to his office. He said that he had gotten a disturbing note that someone was stealing money from the company. Could she allow the auditors access to her computer so that they could check the transactions of the accounts department. Kate said she was happy to and left the office with a satisfied smile.

The auditors spent all week going over the records starting from a year before to the present. Finally they found the transactions from Becky’s computer. They gave the information to the CEO. He called the police and they came to arrest Becky at the office. She protested her innocence but to no avail.

Kate defended Becky to her workmates. She told them that maybe the pressure of getting married had gotten to Becky and she had decided to borrow some money to pay for the wedding.

Later, a heartbroken Alex told Kate "I don’t know what it is about me that I attract bad girls. It seems that every girl I meet is just pretending to be good. Thank God I have you. A true friend. Good and kind. I don’t know what I’d do without you. My best friend."

Kate smiled. She was going to get her man and no one would stand in her way. One day soon Alex would see that they were the perfect couple.

Rayhab 2009

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Crazy in love

Brian entered the busy restaurant, his intention to get some coffee and kill the hour before his appointment with his next client. The restaurant was doing brisk business and there were no empty tables. Brian spotted a table for two with a lady reading a book. He went over and asked if he could sit there or she was waiting for someone. She told him he could seat n then went back to reading her novel.

As Brian waited for the tea and samosas he had ordered, he looked over at the lady. She was quite pretty. She seemed totally absorbed in the book. Glancing at the title he realized it was the latest James Patterson which he had been intending to read. He told her he was sorry to interrupt her but was the book as good as other books by the same author. She looked up from the book and smiled. A smile that lit her face and made her look beautiful and made his heart skip a beat. She told him it was a great book about a psychopathic school teacher.

Having broken the ice, Brian started a conversation on various James Patterson’s and their themes. By the time he had finished his coffee almost an hour had passed and they had had an interesting heated discussion.

For some reason he felt reluctant to leave. He pulled out a business card and gave it to Hilda as she had introduced herself earlier. She also gave him her card that said she was a psychologist. Brian went for his meeting and blew away the client with his enthusiasm and energy.

A couple of days later, Brian was sitting at his desk, staring at Hilda’s card. He had had such a great time with her; it had been a long time since he had such stimulating conversation. He debated on the ethics of calling her as he was a happily married man with a beautiful wife.

He rationalized, pondering on the implications of asking her out for lunch. Then, deciding that it’s not like he wanted to start an affair it would just be a matter of meeting and discussing books, he called her. They agreed to meet the following Tuesday which was the first Tuesday of the month. He quickly jotted the date in his diary.

When they met, the food was good and the conservation excellent. Brian thought it had been a long time since he had such a great time. Hilda was a brilliant conversationalist telling him stories of sum crazy clients she had treated.

When he paid the bill and just as they were waiting for change she gave him a paper bag. Inside was the James Patterson. “Thought u might like to read it, you can keep it,” Hilda said.

Then, almost as an afterthought she told him that this evening there would be a Kwani open mike for poets. “I know its short notice, but am performing a piece and would love sum moral support,” Hilda said. He wanting to know more about this captivating lady agreed. And that was how it started.

Brian started hanging out with Hilda at least once a week. Sometimes hanging out with her and her friends sometimes with his friends. She took him to literary events that he had no idea had been taking place. Brian thought to himself, “It’s great to have such a good platonic friend.”

Hilda was such a good person to hang out with. He had gotten business from some of her friends and she kept sending him new clients. He thought that it was a lucky day when he had talked to Hilda at the restaurant. So what if he cancelled dinner sometimes with his wife to take Hilda somewhere. He was getting more business by hanging out with her, he rationalized. In the last one month he had bought a new car and taken his wife out of town 4 a romantic weekend.

“Hilda is such a great person and she is not interested in me romantically. We have the perfect friendship.” Poor Brian by the time he would realize the truth it would be too late.

When Hilda invited him to her house for dinner with a few friends, he was willing. He had always wanted to see where she lived. Coming from a very exclusive neighborhood, Hilda had always told him that he should move from the middle class house where he was living to a more prestigious area now that he was doing so well.

The dinner at Hilda’s house went very well. Her cooking skills were superb and Brian was having a great time with the others. When Hilda told him to stay and help her with the dishes after dinner, explaining that she had given the maid the evening off, he thought nothing of it.

At sum point later she excused herself to go to the bedroom. Brian finished washing the dishes and walked around the sitting room looking at the expensive beautiful pictures and paintings hanging on the walls. He was so busy staring at one that he did not notice her come in.

When he turned she was lounging on the sofa wearing only a set of red heels and some red see through lingerie. He could not believe what he was seeing. His mind was trying to digest what he was seeing. His first instinct was to run and get the hell out of there. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe.

He made the mistake of opening his eyes and looking at her instead of the door. She smiled at him and beckoned for him to come. He felt powerless, wanting to leave, to do the right thing but wanting to stay and explore those curves. With resignation he gave in to his fate.

Three months later, Brian was in a happy mood. His business was going well and he was making money hand over fist. His love life was complicated but doable. Hilda was a very demanding lover but he was in control and his wife well, he told her he was working hard that’s why he came home so late or sometimes not at all. But the thing that was making him the most happy was some news his wife had given him.

Brian was in a restaurant waiting for Hilda. He would have to find a gentle way of telling Hilda that they had to end their relationship now that his wife was pregnant. They had been trying for several years to get a child and nothing had happened. Now he was going to be a dad. Yippee.

He regretted that he would have to break Hilda’s heart. She was the perfect woman but not the one carrying his child. He knew it was a son, could feel it in his bones. Hilda walked in into the restaurant looking at shunning as she normally was. She looked excited and happy.

After ordering for their meal Hilda told him, “Brian I have something to tell you. I know it will come as a surprise but I know this news will make you happy.” She paused. “Am pregnant!”

Brian was so stunned he couldn’t speak. She went on, “I know it’s going to be hard but you can finally leave your wife. You can move in with me and when you get your divorce we can get married.”

Brian looked at her and didn’t know what to say. Then he found his voice. “I can’t leave my wife. She told me yesterday that she is pregnant! She’s my wife and I can’t leave her. I wish there was another way we could be together but I can’t do this now!”

Hilda gasped and then kept quiet. “Am sorry,” he said. “My wife is the innocent victim in this. I can’t make her suffer for my mistakes.”

He tried to hold her hand but she took it back. “What will we do?”

Hilda said, “I’ll take care of it!” She picked her handbag and left.

Two weeks later Hilda called him to her house so that they could talk. She said she understood how things were and that she had accepted that he would not b able to leave his wife. She asked to just one last night with him so that they could say goodbye. Brian could not refuse her.

At 5am Brian got a phone call from his neighbor. “You better come home. There's been a robbery at your house and your wife has been murdered.” Brian dropped the phone in shock.

He turned to Hilda who looked at him with an eerie smile. She said, “Now we can be together. I took care of things for you. No one will suspect you. Am your alibi and your mine.”

Brian in his last conscious thought before he put out his hands to strangle Hilda to death was, “Oh my God! Hilda is stalk raving mad and she killed my wife and my son.”

© Rayhab 2009

Thursday, July 9, 2009

A woman's place

A woman’s place
Where is it that you want me to be?
In the kitchen, garden, your bed,
Taking care of your children
You have defined me
Based on what you need me for.
I am a vessel,
Am not a person if I don’t have a role?
Roles that you have defined
I do not rate consideration
As a person, for just being me
Putting me into moulds that you have made
I have a mind, heart, soul, body
I refuse to let you use me as you will
I can stand without you, you know
You are the sore that keeps me from moving
Keeping me in one place, imprisoned
I break away from you
Move forward
A woman’s place
That terminology is obsolete.

Raylitpoems 2004

dying poets

Read somewhere, poets die early.
Poet dies; broken heart, when life’s work
Delegated to obscure books of poetry
Gathering dust on shelves.
While, audience congregate around
Cable TV, Videogames, Movies, MTV, popular literature
All his lyrics, drama, rhythm and rhyme,
That makes the beautiful art of poetry is lost,
Like famous loud drums of Africa
That beat no more.
Poetry put into a box and shelved.
Isn’t it just poetic justice,
Poetry becoming a dead language like Latin?
Poetry ages past, entertained kings, common people:
Said what society felt, could not articulate.
Yet now dying art, struggling in the fight
Against the marching armies of media and technology
A poet dies like a rose, withering, fading with broken
As audience shoots poisoned darts of disinterest
Brain dead he becomes,
Even before being declared legally dead!

raylitpoems 2004

Loving you

Every day is an adventure,
Knowing and loving you has changed me,
Made me free, wild and abit insane.
But through everything i do,
I think of you
And miss you with all my heart!
You make me compete,
Your love makes my heart beat,
My Knight in shining armour,
The keeper of my heart.

Raylitpoems 2006

teddy bear

My teddy bear's a great guy
treats me well and
lets me rest my head on his
shoulder at nite
keeps me warm with his hot water bottle
and is with me all through the nite
but he doesnt make my heart race
like u do or make me warm and ....
so dont tell him my secret
that i much prefer u to him
and that am in love with you
coz it would break
his little teddy bear heart
then what would i do
with my nites
coz i would have no one
to keep me warm and cozy
and give my teddy bear kisses.

raylitpoems 2005

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Heart break harvest

Why is it that you cause me pain
Yet I still cling to you?
You reap my heart out
And play with it like a toy,
Yet for you it still calls.
I cannot understand this love
That cuts me deep,
Every time I think of you.
I exsosize you,
Like a ghost
You haunt me, my dreams.
I rationalize, philophize, pray, strategize.
But you don’t leave my mind/heart
Why, I ask
Does my heart call out to you?
When I know that all I will reap
Is pain when you leave yet again?
Why is it?

Raylitpoems 2004

Glass shattering hurt

I gave you the glass ball that was my heart.
First you cherished it,
Later you were indifferent,
Was that why you were careless?
Dropping the ball, shattering my delicate heart!
You went away, left me in pieces.
I hurt, crying for so long because you broke me.
It took me years to glue the pieces together,
Getting scarred with pain
As sharp pieces of your betrayal cut into me.
Now you've back.
'Trust me. I will not let you down again' you say.
Trust, a fragile thing like
My pieced together, glass heart.
My mind says NO!
My heart is in no condition to speak
But it beats louder when you are near.
Is that why I hesitate to keep it safe?

Raylitpoems 2004

Black widow spider

She is spinning her web,
Invisible threads that bind you to her,
Laying her traps to catch you but you cant see!
Think your so clever,
Your so focused on her,
Trying to evade her obvious moves that you cant see the invisible threads
Intertwinned with the black visible ones she is spinning.
Think your so wise
Keeping off the well light black threads she is casting towards you
Yet she watches,
Manipulates as you walk on the invisible threads.
Sticky sticky threads.
You start to realise that somethings not quite right
But its too late
Your stuck and as you struggle
The threads tighten.
You realise the game is up,
Her seductive smiles says it all.
She's got you in her grasp,
Theres no escape,
You have to surrender to your fate.
She's got you! Got you good!
Black widow spider.

Glance my way oh romeo

Our glances, they dance
Flirting as they meet, like lovers anew
And then shyly they break apart.
Our smiles, they hold abit of promise.
A tease of something behind those lips
A promise of romance, of passion
Our bodies they move to an invisible beat.
Heartbeats drumming in anticipation.
Our feet they shuffle,
Taking a step further, moving closer,
Wanting more intimacy, to tango
One heart reaches out, another’s heart is given
As hands touch, souls meet and love booms
Not a word is spoken, yet the heart has chosen.
A glance, simple, so full of meaning.
A glimpse of romance.
Oh that I may share a glance with you
be swept away by the magic that lurks in your eyes.
I dream how it would be when we share a glance.
Oh, please glance my way.



Martin sat at the bar, sipping his drink. He scanned the crowd at the nightclub. The human traffic moving in and out of the dance floor. He was looking for sumone, on the hunt for his next prey. No one interested him.

Been there, done that, he thought. Then he saw her on the edge of the dance floor. Oh my, sexy sexy sexy! The woman seemed to have been poured into that red dress. It clung to her curves like a glove and she had the body of a godess. He had to get a second look, his predator instinct kicking in. He almost roared, the mighty lion in hunt of the beautiful gazelle.

Martin moved up to her n ignoring the other hungry eyes watching them, started dancing with her. Up close she was more striking then from afar. She had clear ebony skin, brown eyes and a beautiful face with full lips that begged to be kissed. He flirted with her as they danced, romancing her with seductive smiles and those smooth dance moves that he had perfected. He bought her drinks and made her laugh, lowering her inhibitions.

At 3 o'clock he whispered in her ear that they should go to his house to get to know each other better. She agreed and went with him.


Next morning, Martin woke with a smile on his face. Oh what a night, he thought. Still sleepy but content, he reached out for his latest catch but she wasnt there. She's probably downstairs making breakfast. He drifted back to sleep feeling really tired.

A couple of hours later he awoke and looked at his watch. It was 4 0'clock in the afternoon. "Oh my God! Am late for work," he said. He woke up and looked around at his empty room. What! His eyes widened and he had to rub his eyes. All his things were gone. He ran all around the house getting almost hysterical. He had been systematically robbed. The hunter had become the hunted, the playa had been played.

Rayhab 09.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


I have been through the valleys
of the shadow of death and the mountains of despair.
When am down to the ground and theres no hope you lift me up.
When i have felt abandoned, lost and with no where to turn
you have showered me with ur love, taking me in your arms
and giving me a bear hug letting me know i matter to you.
I have messed up so many times yet you still forgive me,
still hold me dear in your heart, still given me a chance to make things right next time.
Even in my darkest hours, in my despair, sorrow and pain
you have been there holding my hand,
my salvation in my times of need and my deliverer.
In my times of happiness you have cheered me on,
knowing only too well the struggles you n i have faced together to get there.
You are my joy, my encourager, my strength, my rock,
My knight in shining armour in my time of need.
Thea is nothing i can give you that compares to what you have done for me
because your love is priceless and without compare.
Silver, gold, titanium, diamonds and all things precious you have in abundance
so what can i give you that will mean something to you?
I give you what means the most to me and that you value above all things.
I give you my heart and my love.

Raylitpoems 2009

A chilly valentine - Rayhab

He seduced me,
With flowers and perfume,
Telling me that I was,
The most beautiful exotic flower in bloom.
He bought me chocolate,
Said that I was his chocolate sweetie,
Made me think that he could not breath without me
Because i was his oxygen.
Told me that we should make love,
To prove that our love was for real.
I shed my innocence, showed my love.
He messed my health, gave me HIV.
Now years later, another valentine's day.
A withered flower,
That is no longer fragrantly sweet,
Lying in a deep freeze in the morgue,
Leftovers of another valentine.

Raylitpoems 2005.

Body language - Rayhab

Our glances, like lovers new

They dance, flirting as they meet

And break to rest anew

Our smiles, they hold abit of promise

A tease of something behind those lips

A promise of romance, of passion

Our bodies they move to an invisible beat

That leads to a dance of anticipation

One hand reaches out and another heart is given

As hands touch, souls meet and love blooms

Not a word is spoken

But the heart has chosen

A glance, a glimpse of romance

I share a glance with you,

They dance, flirt

Is it with you that romance shall bloom?

Raylitpoems 2003

Secret masks

When her friend told her, I love your body, you’re so slender and you can eat anything!"
She smiled. How was her friend to know she used to be fat and decided to go on a special diet,
that now everything she eats she puked into the toilet.

When the MP told them, "I want to go to parliament to represent you, to look after your interests."
The people voted. How were they to know the politician would organize for killings and work only to safeguard his salary.

When he told her, "you’re so beautiful. I like your African figure, your big hips, your big breasts
let me take you home tonight!" How was he to know she had HIV?

When they told her, "pole for your loss, he was such a good man, a gentleman always taking care of the family and protecting them!" How were they to know she was happy he was dead, as he had beaten and abused her all their married life?

When her friends found out she was pregnant and asked her who the father was. Teasing her whose child it could be, she ran off in tears, how were they to know her father sexually abused her and made her pregnant.

When I walk past you, and smile, you say hallo and I say hi back. We laugh and talk about superficial things, yet we don’t say what’s really on our minds. I don’t know what you’re hiding under your smiling mask and you don’t know what am hiding under mine.

Raylitpoems 2009