My struggles as a man... By Maik Kwambo

my struggles as a man…
they keep me from self actualization and wholeness
I have an inability to communicate my emotions
I have been socialized to suppress them
the only form of communication I know is aggression
I feel silenced when frustrated, disappointed, sad or lonely
because I cannot identify what it is I am feeling
I do not know how to express it constructively
probably this is the reason I speak in slang’
because without an emotional outlet I feel like a mute person
a mute person trying to speak a foreign language

I am expected to live up to the myth..
the sex athlete myth...
to most of my peers it is not a challenge
they probably think it is a right of passage
or the natural order of the universe
sadly this is a creation of society
too many of my peers have bought into this myth
and have the seeds of their misdeeds scattered nationwide
others have succumbed to the ravages of deadly STD’s
but still…inferior are those who are not athletes in bed
for their sexuality shall always be questioned
and aspersions cast on the size of their manhood

as a man I have to struggle to be the moneybags man
the moneybags man is all so powerful…
he has money…power…influence…
resultantly his doors open up effortlessly
me…I have to put up with the everyday world
dead end jobs…internal discontent…heartbreak…
spend months trying to woo the apple of my eye for a night out on the town…and then she refuses
this struggle to prove I am as good as mister moneybags is all too time and energy consuming

I struggle to paint a positive picture of men
but all around me the ladies retort…
“I don’t need a man in my life…”
I cannot blame them for these remarks
in my world…many men have not been raised to be men
they have been raised to be males
being a man is much more than pissing standing up…
it’s about integrity…responsibility…
honesty when it’s not the easy way out
being a man is treating people like human beings…like equals…
I struggle to be a positive role model
these are my struggles as a man