Afraid

Am afraid.
I know I shouldnt say it out loud,
Shouldn't show weakness.
These are things you tell yourself in the dark.
Dark recesses of the mind.

Am afraid of failing,
Falling to the ground.
Am so far from the ideal,
From where I thought I'd be now.

Seem to be on the snail's track,
While others are on the fast horse truck.

Am drowning.
Can't get my head above water.
Struggling to save my life by swimming against the tides
but the whirlpools they get me,
toss and turn me,
barter me against the sharp rocks.

Am bleeding and drowning,
Am afraid because I dont know if I have the will to fight on,
to get to a better place.
Will i drown in the tides of destiny.

Raylitpoems 2010