Thursday, May 17, 2012

Grimm fairy tales





In an alternative universe, not a beautiful, loving universe like ours, bad things happen.

Cinderella went for a ball, danced with a beautiful prince, lost something more precious than a glass slipper, 9 months later a baby was born and the prince disowned the both of them, and the baby grew up to be poor like its mother.

Snow white had a psycho step mother, who talked to herself in the mirror, and because she was jealous, the step mother poisoned her, she died and her step mother collected her life insurance.

Sleeping beauty had a godmother who didn't like her, maybe she couldn't have children herself or maybe sleeping beauty's mother stole the man she had wanted for herself and she was green with envy. Sleeping beauty went to visit and The godmother gave her some potent juice and sleeping beauty got into a coma and died of a drug over dose.

The princess married a frog after being told he would turn into a prince, but 5 million kisses later he was still a frog, and he refused to divorce her saying life was too good living in a palace.

The maiden who spun gold, was a lass who made a deal with the devil to make her rich, and when she had snagged the King and married him, she had a baby and she gave him to the devil as payment for making her wealthy.

Goldilocks was a naive campus girl, who went for a party, drank 3 different kinds of alcohol and passed out on a bed. She was gang raped by 3 college boys who didn't care that she was unconscious and unconsenting.

Hansel and gretel were nice kids, who loved to use the internet, and were fascinated by a site called gingerbread house. It promised cookies and toys if you went to a certain house. Hansel and Gretel went there, and were never seen by their parents again. The gingerbread house was a pedophile website that targeted children.

Rampenzel and the wicked witch were partners in a drug cartel, they made drugs in the middle of the forest and the only way you could enter their castle was to ask rampenzel to let down a rope made out of her hair.

But these things don't happen in our universe, we live in a fairytale kingdom where life turns out right, everyth├Čng works out well and life is a fairy tale.


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